New York, Nu York: Saying Nyet to the Rainbow Bagel

By ELLEN LEVITT
Once again I look around me and see so many troubling things going on in the world and in the United States: poisoned drinking water, vile presidential candidates duking it out, anti-Semitism on college campuses (even Brooklyn College, where I earned my Masters degree), a new mass murder spree (this one in Kansas), and so many other issues and topics and stories that are truly painful. And I know I cannot say enough about these, so I will pick a less weighted topic.
And the topic I pick to pick on here, is the Rainbow Bagel phenomena. There are a few bakeries and bagel shops in New York City that are making headlines by baking headshop bagels: swirly rainbow colored bagels. Bagels with outrageous coloring that looks more like a kindergartner's clay project.
There is this frenzy, at least among some foodies and consumers. to buy and consume bagels that appear to be psychedelia. What do you put on these things: butter? cream cheese? And there was even a squid-ink colored bagel advertised by some store.
To which I state, NO. Nyet. Lo lo lo. (Not "lol".) There is something creepy and disturbing about rainbow bagels. I just checked Instagram and the hashtag #rainbowbagels" and saw a lot of this. Some of them resemble weird candles. Some look like cutesy-poo cookies. Others resemble bad arts and crafts projects.
They could be kosher, and I may try them but probably not, because there is something vulgar and way-off about this. The rainbow bagel disturbs my culinary sensibilities. It is an affront to me, in a way. I like sesame or poppy seeds, or pumpernickel or whole wheat, even sundried tomato pieces. I can deal with that. But the rainbow bagel is a bad fad to me.
Hey, kids, how do they taste? Let me know. From afar.