The price of 'disrespecting' women

The misogyny that has become a staple of university life is but a symptom of a larger cultural problem.

battered woman women 88 (photo credit: )
battered woman women 88
(photo credit: )
The story of the alleged rape by the Duke Lacrosse team of an African-American woman who worked part-time as an exotic dancer, which so shocked American sensibilities, barely raised an eyebrow with me. You see, I served for 11 years as rabbi at another elite university and witnessed firsthand the growing misogyny that has become a central staple of university life. Even when the police released the e-mail that was sent out at 1:58 a.m., directly after the alleged rape by one of the players on the team, and which read: "To whom it may concern, tomorrow night, after tonights show, ive decided to have some strippers over to edens 2c. all are welcome... I plan on killing the bitches as soon as they walk in and proceding to cut their skin off while [ejaculating] in my duke issue spandex..." even then my reaction was one of resignation and acceptance. University men in the Western world view going to college as an arena for the fulfillment of their unbridled lust, and it is these intellectual crossroads wherein one finds, ironically, the greatest contempt for women. Sadly, unless it leads to some terrible tragedy, like rape, nobody cares. AT OXFORD during Eights Week the main annual rowing event at Oxford University that takes place on the Isis in June, I used to listen in astonishment as the male students chanted: "A-bor-tion, A-bortion... Lay that lady on her back. Pull that baby from her crack. A-bor-tion, A-bor-tion..." Then there were the "panty-raiders" at Eights Week; male students would steal women's underwear and hoist it up the boathouse flagpole. It is time for the Western world to accept the sad truth that universities are becoming bastions of female-hating lechers who spend four years trying to bed as many women as possible, while making the word "bitch" one of the most used in their vocabularies. Tom Wolfe's newest novel, I Am Charlotte Simmons, chronicles the unbelievable scorn for women that permeates the American campus, and how women have lost all dignity, becoming complicit in their own degradation, as they stop at nothing to become the male plaything. The greatest cultural story since the 1960s is the decline and fall of the Western male, and how women have accommodated that fall by allowing themselves to be treated like garbage by men. It's now 60 years after feminism, and there has never been a better time to be a man. To be a guy today is to have your pick of hundreds of women who will sleep with you and expect not only no commitment, but not even courteous treatment. You can burp in their presence, break wind, and they will still go to bed with you. To be a guy is to have women move into your apartment and cook and clean for you, even as you endlessly push off the question of marriage, which you have no intention of addressing anyway. And to be a man today is to have women take off their clothes on TV to sell you everything from beer to cars to hamburgers. ONCE, WHEN I lectured at Yale, a female student perfectly identified for me how it is a man's world and how it all begins at university: "When it comes to love and relationships the men here sit and pick us out, like a man sifting through a jar of jellybeans for the colors and tastes that he likes, leaving behind all the ones that don't appeal to his taste buds at the moment." But in becoming boastful beasts of female prey and losing their sense of awe for women, men have guaranteed their own boredom. If you're a man, and a woman can no longer excite you, what will? A bunch of guys hitting a ball with a bat? Watching race cars go in a circle for 500 miles? Do men realize just how pathetic they have become as they endlessly pursue cheap substitutes for a lost sense of erotic excitement? Most of the men I meet aren't even that attracted to their wives and live in predictable and monotonous drudgery in their marriages as a result. Yes, there is a price to pay for disrespecting women. The male overexposure to women has even led to the death of the heterosexual man as we know him. If the definition of a heterosexual man is a male who is attracted to women, then most men today are barely heterosexual. Think about it. Nearly all the men I know are only attracted to about one in 10 women, that is, the 10 percent of women they consider "hot." The other 90% leave them cold. Doesn't that mean that they are 90% asexual? And I'm not trying to be funny. If a man is not attracted to a woman, then he is not heterosexual. Period. And if he only attracted to a small fraction of the women he meets, then he is fractionally heterosexual. THE SECOND great tragedy of the Western man is that since women no longer strongly attract him, he cannot separate himself from his male buddies and truly attach himself to a female soul mate. Everywhere I go in the Western world I meet husbands whose real confidants are still their drinking and card-playing buddies, and who are lonely in their marriages as a result. Alternatively, they are single men who are addicted to dating but who never fall in love. Both of these factors were in operation that terrible night, on March 13, at Duke. The alleged rape victim had been paid $400 by the Neanderthals who surrounded her to excite them. And she arrived as the perfect obedient male fantasy, wearing, according to The New York Times, a "negligee and shiny white strappy high heels." But when even that failed to ignite an erotic charge, one of the highly educated youths allegedly "held up a broomstick and threatened to sexually assault her with it." A neighbor said the players were demanding their money back. She allegedly refused to participate in degrading acts that might finally give these overexposed and desensitized men some excitement. And when she didn't do that, well, violence was allegedly just around the corner, as the men ganged up on her as a pack. After all, if the "bitch" doesn't serve the purpose of turning us guys on, what on earth else could she possibly be good for? The writer is host of Shalom in the Home now being broadcast in the United States.