hazan ad spoof 298.
(photo credit: )
Be more balanced
Oh dear, - I'm as tolerant as the next person (or possibly the one after that). But I draw the line when a respectable newspaper publishes views I disagree with. Can't the Post adopt a more balanced approach and stop publishing articles by people whose ideas are simply wrong?
Oyez, - Rumor has it that the ban on smoking in public places will be overturned in the upcoming Knesset when Ehud Olmert takes the helm of the next government. He is also expected to declare the Knesset plenum a Smoking Area, as he did with the boardroom in the Jerusalem Municipality during his tenure as mayor.
Hadn't the Knesset supply staff better order in a batch of smoke detectors, pronto?
Hear ye, - Though I enjoy your weekend magazine's Arrivals column, which interviews people who have come on aliya, I have noticed a serious omission. I meet the basic condition for appearing in the column: arrival in Israel. Yet even though I regularly speak English, loudly, in public places and leave food outside my front door, no Post reporter has ever approached me. I realize there may be a backlog, but I have been here several years already, and this delay is unacceptable.
Don't be fooled
Listen up! - Your readers should be on their guard to avoid being taken in by a plot hatched by One Worlders who have decided that if they can't eliminate religion altogether, they will do the next best thing and attempt to control it.
I refer to recent stories about new Japanese technology that will enable advertisers to create huge, realistic 3D holographic images in midair, and other reports of speculation that it may already be possible to "project" words and music directly into the minds of unsuspecting citizens.
Can the day be far off when crowds of millions will have their attention drawn skyward by the sound of a great horn, and there see the huge figure of a man (sporting halo or turban, depending on locale) descending from the clouds and booming exactly those words which each audience has been hoping to hear?
Wait a minute, - Before I get to the point of this letter, I just want to ask... is it true that you sometimes shorten readers' letters for clarity? What's that about? After all, surely one should be able to develop a theme and fully express oneself, if you know what I mean.
What I'm trying to say is -
YONATAN S. KUTOFF
Letters must not be too short or too long, too Left or too Right; you can forget the center because there isn't one. And please, no threatening phone calls. Letters that begin "Sir" will be ignored because if you don't know by now that the Letters Editor is a madam, how valid can your observations be?