Passover Jews and Shavuot Jews

On Shavuot, we are all called to Mount Sinai to affirm our covenantal bond with God and our people.

the festival of shavuot (photo credit: courtesy)
the festival of shavuot
(photo credit: courtesy)
A colleague of mine who works as the campus rabbi at a prominent university in the American Midwest recently sent me the following observation: “One thing that unites Jewish students from across denominations is the importance of family in one’s Jewish identity. The problem is that their families aren’t with them on campus, and I’ve been shocked at how unprepared Jewish students have been to think about what a Jewish identity away from family could or should look like.”
While some might find the above observation alarming, I am not overly concerned by it. Campus life occupies a small fraction of our adult lives, and it is normal to struggle with questions of our Jewish identities at such a transitional age. However, I am struck by the importance of family in the lives of students. Leaders on college campuses then face the exciting challenge of developing ways for students to contemplate their Jewish identities and commitment to Judaism outside their familiar family environment.
This question is particularly appropriate during the counting of the Omer, which connects Passover and Shavuot. Because they are linked by the Omer, these two holidays are often considered to have a direct relationship. Passover marks the exodus from Egypt, and the establishment of our relationship with God. Seven weeks later we receive the Torah on Shavuot, cementing our relationship with God. The freedom that we celebrate on Passover can only be truly meaningful if it is merged with responsibility and fulfillment of the mitzvot, which are contained in the Torah that we receive on Shavuot.
While the two holidays are linked, Passover and Shavuot are very different. Passover is full of ritual, and is centered in the home, most notably at the Seder. In contrast, Shavuot lacks any core ritual, at home or elsewhere. Even more to the point, Moses is absent from the Passover story we tell at the Seder, but he is central to Shavuot for his role in the giving of the Torah.
The absence of Moses at the Seder reflects the unimportant role that family plays in his life. His children do not inherit his leadership. Before the exodus, Moses sent his wife, Tziporah, and their children back to Midian where they would be safe. According to the Tanchuma, Moses actually divorced Tziporah before the exodus. Furthermore, Exodus refers to their children as “her [Tziporah’s] sons” – belonging exclusively to her, and not to Moses. It is for this reason that the Zohar suggests that Tziporah raised them entirely on her own, and that Moses was an absent father.
After the revelation at Mt Sinai, Moses separated from Tziporah, never returning to a conjugal relationship. Moses heeded God’s instruction before the revelation that he “Go to the people and warn them to stay pure today and tomorrow” and reasoned that “I who am on call every single day, at every single hour, not knowing when God may speak with me, day or night, how much more so must I separate from my wife” (Avot Rabbi Natan). If the people had to separate from their spouses in order to encounter God, then surely Moses must always separate from Tziporah, for he encountered God on an ongoing basis.
Perhaps it is for this very reason that Moses is absent from the seder.
The Passover seder is a time for families to gather and rejoice; Moses, the hero of our story, is the antithesis of the family personality. To be a Moses, family ties had to be broken. It is therefore inappropriate to include him in the seder, which is such a family oriented ritual.
But Moses is undoubtedly the hero of Shavuot. He alone is on the top of the mountain, receiving the Torah from God. He is an agent of the people of Israel. And he fulfills this task admirably, refusing to abandon the Jewish people after the sin of the Golden Calf. He saves them from God’s wrath through prayer and rhetoric. Without him, they would all have been destroyed. In that sense, Moses’ character exists in a paradox; he abandoned his family, but remained deeply devoted to his people. It is for this reason that we remember Moses as Moshe Rabbeinu – he is our master, teacher, and rabbi.
We are both Passover Jews and Shavuot Jews. Moses’s break with his family is not to be emulated – family relationships are critical for creating and transmitting our Jewish memory. Passover is a time to reconnect with family, and reengage with our family traditions.
However, we must also find our own paths outside the bounds of our home. On Shavuot, we are all called to Mount Sinai to hear the Torah anew and affirm our covenantal bond with God and our people. Part of this process involves us all asking ourselves a fundamental question: What is my relationship with Torah? How can I affirm my own Jewish identity and express my portion in Torah? 
Rabbi Michael Balinsky is Executive Vice President of the Chicago Board of Rabbis