A funny thing happened on the way to elections

The Republicans' infantile behavior means that Obama's electoral win is a sure thing.

By MICHAEL BAR-ZOHAR
Romney v Obama (photo credit: By Ronny Gordon)
Romney v Obama
(photo credit: By Ronny Gordon)
Finally, Rick Santorum gave up. But it seems that it was too little and too late.
There is an old Yiddish saying that late finance minister Yigal Horowitz would use over and over again against the wild, irresponsible policies of his colleagues. "Crazies," he would shout, "get off the roof!" I assume that the US’ presidential candidates for the Republican party don't know Yiddish, and even if they did I doubt that they would get off the roof.
They set off, months ago, to beat reigning President Barack Obama at the polls. But on the way to the elections, something funny happened and they decided to go after Mitt Romney instead.
Since hitting the campaign road some months ago, the publicized debates of the Republican candidates have turned into nothing more than pathetic side shows that often border on hilarious. At times it looked as though we were watching a bunch of stand-up comics from some satire like Saturday Night Live.  The campaign road-show displayed the worst sides of most candidates and showcased their ridiculous blunders (anybody say Rick Perry?), their extremist views, and above all their inability to offer an alternative policy for the US. It isn’t only the Democrats that have labeled their debates as “circuses" being run by "a bunch of clowns."
Some of them hold impressive records, so clowns they are not. Yet until very recently, most of the contenders who were still in the race behaved as if it weren’t even about a presidential election. Newt Gingrich, Ron Paul and Rick Santorum acted as if they didn't really care about beating Obama at the polls. Instead, it was all hell with the election for all that mattered was beating Mitt Romney.
For good and for bad, Romney has a substantial edge on the others in that he gives off a more “presidential” air than the others and his opinions seem less extremist; he might therefore appeal to a larger electorate. So what? Gingrich? Paul? If the other candidates had listened to reason they would have given up long ago and cleaved to the man with the best chance of winning.
No way. This wild bunch was determined to destroy Mitt Romney. This became their only goal and they swore to fight him to the last Republican.Even when Santorum decided to quit, he did it not because he recognized Romney's advantage, but simply because he ran out of money and was afraid to be beaten in his home state of Pennsylvania.
If I were to spin a dark but credible conspiracy theory, I might conjure a secret liaison in a secluded mansion in which Obama meets with Newt the Angry, Rick the Godly and Ron the Refusenik and hires them as his cronies to defeat his main opponent in the election using all available means. I can see the three stooges accepting their mission and I can only compliment Obama for his craftiness.
Judging by recent developments, I can now conclude that their mission was carried out with unprecedented success. Because of the perpetual juvenile infighting within the Republican Party, Obama is likely to have earned himself another four years in the White House.
When I watch Republican crowds gathering in huge assemblies and cheering on Gingrich, Santorum and Paul with wild enthusiasm, I wonder if they are also a part of the conspiracy, or if they have simply given up on the elections and have opted instead just to have a good time.
It seems that this is often the prognosis when political parties lose their minds, The Democrats and the Republicans nominated George McGovern and Barry Goldwater respectively - despite the fact that it was crystal clear that they would lose the elections. In Israel, the Likud revolted against Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu in 1999, while Labor elected Amram Mitzna, Benjamin Ben-Eliezer, and finally Amir Peretz – all of whom would go through certain defeat. But at least they did not try to defeat their own candidate before the election. The Republican mess is a first.
You can sleep soundly, Obama. You are the next president of the US and you can thank the circus acts for crowning you as such.
There they are, still standing on the roof.
The writer is a former Labor Party MK and the official biographer of David Ben-Gurion and Shimon Peres.