The king lives. A leading member of a hassidic dynasty has revealed that the famous American crooner converted to Judaism and became a Berkoitch Hasid.

Elvis Presley, now known as Pinchas Shleifmanstein, decided to abandon his singing career in 1975; he hired a local man to impersonate him, who tragically died in 1977, fueling years of grieving among fans. In an exclusive interview with the Roast that will appear tomorrow, he describes how he assumed an identity and moved to the Holy Land.

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This story is fictitious and in the spirit of Purim.

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