We establish and define our discrete selves via autopoietic communication. We establish and define our social selves via nonautopoietic communication. Both types of discourse are existentially imperative. Whereas we are social creatures by nature/halacha (most of my Chassidishe friend can explain how the concepts of "creation" and of "Divine Law" are actually a single impulse), we are concurrently unique specks. Most of our life experiences develop our nonautopoietic communication. Select life experiences, such as sma'achot, develop our personal distinctiveness.
For instance, a young person whom might hope to meet his or her bashert is more likely to interact with just the right fresh face at a wedding than at Aunt Sophie's Shabbat table. Perhaps that is why some hatanot hosts set aside special tables for friends of the bride and of the groom. Ostensibly, this segregation takes place so food is not wasted on those dancing feet. Actually, this segregation might also take place so food is not wasted on