Flip Side: Alef-bet soup

K is for kosher food and karate classes; for Kabbala and the Knesset; for Kassams and Katyushas; for Kadima and the Kotel.

July 19, 2007 14:36
3 minute read.
Flip Side: Alef-bet soup

ruthie blum USE! 298.88. (photo credit: )


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A is for "Alef 1" and "Alef 2" in the Katsav case; for Abu Mazen and Abdullah; for the Arrow missile; for anti-Semitism; and for Amharic being spoken on the streets of Ashkelon. B is for the brouhaha over illegal bank fees and British boycotts; for polluted beaches and Naomi Blumenthal's pardon; for Bibi and Barak once again contending for the premiership; for banquet halls brimming with brits and bar mitzvas; for Beduin and Ben-Gurion Airport; and for a booming economy. C is for credit-card theft and cigarette bans; for conversion controversies and corruption scandals; for calorie-counting and condom distribution; and for civil war in the Palestinian Authority. D is for date-rape drug and disengagement; for divorce rates and demography; for the dropping dollar rate; for demonstrations at Rabin Square; for door-to-door donations and the Diaspora; and for democracy. E is for El Al airlines and Ecstasy busts; for Ethiopian immigrants and evangelical Christians; for Gush Katif evacuees; for elections and eating out; for explosives and Eurovision song contests; and for envoys to the Middle East. F is for film festival and Fatah; for Daniel Friedmann's feud with the attorney-general; for foreign workers and fashion shows; for feminist outrage and flat-screen TVs; for felafel and flag football; for flak jackets and fund-raising; and for freedom. G is for gay pride and Arkadi Gaydamak; for global warming and for G-string bathing suits; for art galleries and the Golan Heights; for God and for Gaza. H is for "Heh" in the Haim Ramon case and hi-tech; for hasbara and halacha; for Hamas and Hizbullah; for hamsin and Hatikva; and for Hebrew. I is for iPods and in-vitro fertilization; for the Iranian threat and Ikea; for the Israel Defense Forces and for the Israel Baseball League; for radical Islam; for Internet innovations; and for international interference. J is for Jerusalem pubs and Jewish continuity; and for jay-walking and J-Date; for Judea and jellyfish; for jazz clubs and Jordanian option; and for designer jeans. K is for kosher food and karate classes; for Kabbala and the Knesset; for Kassams and Katyushas; for Kadima and the Kotel. L is for Tzipi Livni and Micha Lindenstrauss; for lifeguards on strike; for Labor and Likud; for low-fat latte and long-term mortgages; and for Lebanon. M is for Mahaneh Yehuda and McDonald's; for metal detectors at malls and Maccabi Tel Aviv; for Meni Mazuz and Eli Moyal; for matriculation exams and for the Mediterranean Sea; for M-16 rifles and medical breakthroughs. N is for nightclubs and newly religious; for Netscape and nuclear attack; for Nobel Prize winners and Nescafe; and for the nervous North. O is for overdraft abolition and occupation; for Orthodoxy and Ehud Olmert; for open-air markets and organized crime; for outposts and Olim; for Oslo and Outlook Express; and for Olympic contenders. P is for President Shimon Peres; for Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome and pita with humous; for price hikes and prisoner swaps; for Pilates and public-opinion polls; for the Philadelphi Corridor and Shahar Pe'er; for pirate radio stations interfering in air-traffic control; for philanthropy; and for Prozac. Q is for the quiet after a missile attack and for quick fixes to age-old problems; for quinine pills to take on post-army treks to Nepal; and for al-Qaida. R is for reservists and railroad construction; for refugees and reality shows; for road carnage and retro-chic; for rock 'n' roll and rockets; for Holocaust reparations; for rioting in Ramallah; for religious-secular relations; and for Ritalin. S is for Sderot and for steaks on the grill; for Gilad Schalit and sushi bars; for single-parent families and sexual harassment laws; for satellite dishes and student strikes; for Samaria and Syria; for the Supreme Court and soccer stadiums; for Sunnis and Shi'ites; for security and Security Council; for soup kitchens and separation fence. T is for tourism and terrorism; for trips to Thailand and troops killed in the line of duty; for talk-backs and tehina; for theater tickets and Tax Authority transgressions; for tank tops and tanks; for technology and targeted killings; and for thwarted suicide bombings. U is for unpopular prime ministers and unemployment; for university unrest and unusable bomb shelters; for under-the-table transactions and ultra-sounds; for unilateralism and an undivided capital; and for the US and the UN. V is for Viagra and Value Added Tax; for street-fair vendors and domestic violence; and for valor. W is for white-collar crimes and women's rights organizations; for the West Bank and the Wisconsin Plan; for water shortages and Weight Watchers; for Webcams and wage disputes; and for weapons. X is for marking a draw on a Sport-Toto form; a wrong answer on the written test at the Motor Vehicles Bureau; the spot on maps at the Israel Museum and Biblical Zoo; and the calendar count-down to the next war. Y is for yes-men and yoghurt; for yoga and You-Tube; for yenta and Yemenite food; and for Ovadia Yosef. Z is for Zionism. ruthie@jpost.com

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