For Those Rainy Days...

 We have all had those rainy days where you cannot shake those dark clouds away. There are days where the sun is hidden and hope seems far away. Maybe you have many days like this or maybe just a few. We all face difficult times in our lives. Because of mental illness, it can seem like the rain drove the sun away for good. That's where I am coming from. 
Someone suggested to me that to find 100 blessings a day would help just to celebrate the little things. 100 may seem drastically unreasonable but we are not looking for perfection or grand gestures. Start with a number you are confident you can achieve. Do not aim for perfect, aim for achieveable. 
So I began looking for moments to bless and bring meaning. I will admit that it was really hard at first. When you are so accustomed to seeing the rain and clouds, you forget what it was like to stand in the sunshine. Over time, I began to find moments to say Shecheyanu and blessings over the food. I started little and small, something manageable. As I went, I found new ways to bless the moments. Little by little light began to break through the darkness. I'm not saying this will cure your mental illness or depression, but this is a way to live that may help.
I found that there was meaning  in my life that I had not found, as if G-d was giving me an umbrella. Slowly, the rain began to stop. Sure the clouds are still there and it is a struggle often to get out of bed, let alone seeking out blessings. However, I realized that this was my life raft to holding on to hope.
We might not have time for 100 blessings but surely we can find one a day. Just one blessing in the whole world. One blessing can turn a day around. Maybe it will turn me around so I can see the sun peeking through.