Hebrish: English bloopers and practical jukes

Israeli students get awfully creative when it comes to writing in English.

English is notorious for its multiple spelling rules, and even more notorious for the exceptions to those rules. So it's hardly surprising that students of English are very, well, creative, when it comes to spelling, and Israeli students are certainly no exception to that rule. The following are authentic bloopers produced in their tests. It's incredible how sometimes just one letter changes everything. For example, doesn't it sound poetic to announce that the bride and broom will get married in the spring? And look at the logic in the word kidnergarden! I suppose it is true that you shouldn't do things in pubic places (well, most things), and of course, all students should realize that when they graduate with low grades, this inables them to get a higher education. On the other hand, schools should offer more English curses, which might help their graduates get better jobs one day, and then hopefully they'd get a raze in the paychick. Altogether, you'd be surprised how many high schoolers were borned and razed here, and how touchingly they describe the voluntary work that is part of their school program: "We take teenagers from the street, give them bad for a couple nights with tree worm meals in a day." Believe me, they do this work with great love and give those kids all their hurt, providing them with shelter from the sun and ear-conditioning, and administering whatever they learned in their curse of first help. Alas, schools make too many demands on them because they would prefer to volunteer fool time, since this work gives them good fillings. Some even want to donerate money for beated women so it will put a smell on their face, which may arguably be a worthy cause. Many students wax eloquent when applying for a job, assuring their future implorer that "I am the white man for the job, and therefore please higher me." One declared himself a football couch while another promised to cook well and prepare little snakes to eat between meals. There were numerous offers to produce delicious soap for supper, and there was one who had experience with children because he had worked many years as a baby sister. And it would be a pity to omit the comment of the neighbor complaining about a chopping mall in my neighborhood, which will only leave us a little pork. (Not a religious neighborhood, I hope?) In conclosing, there are some facts about cell phones that you really should know. Text massaging is dangerous and (to be read out loud) cell phones have now become small enuff to put in your end.