Increase your odds

The only thing you need to take your dating life from boring to busy is a computer with an internet connection.

By TAMAR CASPI SHNALL
Using computer to date (photo credit: Courtesy)
Using computer to date
(photo credit: Courtesy)
Take a proactive approach to dating by putting yourself out there and making things happen instead of waiting for them to happen. You won’t meet anyone sitting at home on your couch… unless you’re online of course.
Sign up for Internet dating. There are sites for nearly everyone out there. Jews of all shapes and sizes can sign up on JDate.com while religious Jews can log on to Frumster.com. There are even websites for older Jews and gay Jews. There are also websites aimed toward the general public that enable you to denote your religion and select “Jewish” as one of your preferences. Try Match.com or eHarmony.com. Don’t be afraid of mainstream Internet dating sites. It can be overwhelming because of the sheer number of people on there, but that’s all in your favor. There are plenty of Jews out there who for some reason or another would rather be on a mainstream dating website than a Jewish one, but they still identify as Jewish. Find those Jews. Date them.
A new trend online is the shidduch-or matchmaker-type website. Beshert.com and JRetromatch.com are two of the more popular ones, but there are plenty of others, including ones that are localized. Let someone else work their magic on your behalf as you focus your efforts elsewhere.
You can’t spend all your time on your tuches though. Search for ways to get out of the house to meet people too. It’s time to start schmoozing. You can find a shadchan (matchmaker) to meet with in person, online or even via your rabbi or a referral.
If you don’t want to hire a professional, let your family and friends set you up on blind dates and go on them with an open mind. Your loved ones all have your best interests at heart; Just remember to let them know what your top five traits are in a mate. Don’t go into your long spreadsheet, just tell them your top non-negotiables – the things that are the most important to you. And if your loved one sets you up with someone who has just four out of five of your requirements, you’d better grab the opportunity by the horns because that’s pretty darn good! Get involved in Jewish life. Start going to Jewish events that are age-appropriate. If you are pushing 50, don’t go to a young adult event; find the groups that are geared toward people your age. Local community centers, the Jewish Federation, Chabad, and other organizations have loads of information ready to place at your fingertips – and they’ll do so happily.
From single parents to young professionals to senior citizens, there truly is a Jewish group for everyone.
Every group has an event for every major Jewish holiday and those are the “must go” events because the attendance is at its highest. The weekly or monthly happy hours are smaller and more intimate but you also may see the same faces over and o v e r again, so try to s p a c e those out and mix them up with other events. The “all ages” events are also good times to go out, such as the Jewish Film Festival or Independence Day festival, because you are in a no-pressure place where people can introduce you to others in a social setting.
Get active in Jewish life. You will meet people who are passionate about the same topics as you, and even if you meet someone who’s not a single person in your age range, you never know who they might set you up with. Volunteer at the senior center, as a big brother or sister, collecting or delivering food.
Get political with AIPAC, ADL or FIDF. Do something that will make you feel better about yourself at the same time. It will be a win-win situation.
Mainstream hobby groups are also a great way to meet s o m e - one. Even if you don’t meet a romantic match there, you can make new friends who have single friends to introduce you to. If you like hiking, jogging, reading, soccer, crafts, music, or whatever it is, find a group and do the things you love to do with other people.
Facebook.com and Meetup.com as well as other social networking sites are great places to find these groups.
It seems like the only thing you need to take your dating life from boring to busy is a computer with Internet connection! Take advantage of all the online resources. Even the most antisocial person can find a way to become active in his or her dating life. And if you find yourself already doing most of the things on this list, then try the other suggestions.
You never know when or where you might meet someone so get online, and then get out and get ready to meet people.