Encountering Peace: Why not bring Assad to Israel?

Such an effort to prevent a group of idealistic, pro-Palestinian activists from entering the “only democracy in the Middle East.” What a success.

IDF officer hitting activist with M-16 370 (photo credit: YouTube Screenshot)
IDF officer hitting activist with M-16 370
(photo credit: YouTube Screenshot)
If I were a participant in the Visit Palestine flyin this past week I would be laughing hysterically.
Look at those Israelis, they sent 650 police and security folks to Ben-Gurion airport for a whole day. They conducted intelligence operations for weeks to identify the names of all of those planning to come. They spent hundreds of man- and woman-hours going through the Facebook and twitter accounts of hundreds of people. Pretty humorous, I think.
All to prevent a group of idealistic, pro-Palestinian activists from entering the “only democracy in the Middle East.” What a huge success.
Public Security Minister Yitzhak Aharonovitch can certainly put a feather in his cap – what a brilliant operation. The Shin Bet (Israel Security Agency) outdid itself this time. The Interior Ministry deserves to win the annual King David award for Zionist heroism.
But I know what a good job our security people did. They are my heroes this week. Thank God they kept those Palestinian lovers out of Israel. God only knows what damage they might have done. Can you imagine if they managed to get to Bethlehem? Just think what a couple of hundred Palestine lovers holding Palestinian flags on the other side of the eight-meter high wall could have done. Maybe they would have burned some Israeli flags. Maybe they would have shouted “Free, free Palestine.” Oh my God.
Thank you God, once again – just a few days ago we said our prayer “pour out Thy wrath on the heathens... pour out thy indignation upon them... Pursue them in wrath and destroy them....” We must have really been inspired with extra zeal this holiday of liberation and freedom of ours. We really needed that inspiration so that we could show the world once again just how wonderful we are and how strong and determined a nation we are. No one can push us around.
WHAT OTHER country in the world hands its visitors a letter on arrival telling them they should visit our neighbors and help them over there to fight against injustice. That is so benevolent of us. God, what a great country! I was so happy to see how we convinced some of the biggest airline companies in the world, Lufthansa, Air France and others not to let these Israel haters even board the planes. Ich danke Ihnen sehr – 12 points Deutschland, merci beaucoup France – douze points! Isn’t it great, all of these wonderful friends we have? I even saw on television the Turkish police preventing protesters against Israel from entering the planes. I guess the Turks really know how we welcome their people when they come here – doesn’t matter if by plane or by ship. We know how to treat those Turks. They are all religious fanatic Muslims anyway, just like their prime minister – what’s his name? Erdo something.
Some of those idiot Israeli leftist peaceniks even suggested that we let them come. Welcome them with flowers, they said. Can you imagine that – hundreds of people carrying Palestinian flags and shouting Free Free Palestine being handed roses by Israeli citizens – maybe even some of our good-looking young people? We really would have looked ridiculous when all of the international media, who hate us anyway, filmed that scene. The world might think we are getting soft. Maybe someone somewhere might even get the idea that our prime minister is serious when he talks about peace with our neighbors.
What peace? Don’t be silly. Everyone knows our plan is to continue to do what we are doing so well.
Once we lived in a time when there wasn’t 24-hour media, or Facebook and twitter. We didn’t have to tell white lies about our desire to make peace and to divide the land into two states.
Those were the days. I remember when Yitzhak Shamir was prime minister. That was a man with guts. He told it straight. He said the sea is the same sea and the Arabs are the same Arabs.
Wow, he was great.
When the first president Bush twisted his arm and made him show up in Madrid, he was no pushover. Shamir said without hesitation – we will negotiate with the Arabs for 20 years and move half a million Israelis into Judea and Samaria. He was right, and we did what he said.
He said we will not negotiate with the PLO – not because they are terrorists, but because negotiating with them means only one thing – giving them a state, and we will never do that. Boy, do I miss the good old days.
I saw that video today on television where that brave army commander in the Jordan Valley let that rude European bicycle rider have it in the face with his M16. He didn’t shoot him – no we don’t do those kinds of things. Who do you think we are? We don’t use live ammunition against protesters. We are democratic. More subtle, more caring. That brave officer used his gun as a baton. Right in the face. Wow, you don’t see that every day. We were so lucky that someone was there with a camera to share it with us. I am sure it will be a big hit on YouTube.
We need more brave people like that in army.
The next time those Arab-loving Europeans come to ride their bikes on our street, they will think twice. He’ll probably have a scar on his face for the rest of his life. He deserved it. Where does he think he is, anyway, Amsterdam? Doesn’t he know it’s dangerous to ride through the Arab areas, that something bad might happen to him? Doesn’t he know Palestinians are all terrorists? We are only protecting them from the dangers of riding where the Arabs live. Why do you think it’s illegal for Israelis to go there? Israelis are smart enough to know the danger.
We have to protect tourists from the dangers that they are too naive to know about.
If they’re looking for action and want to be brave, let them go to Syria. Now there’s a leader who knows how to send the message home. I wonder if Assad might consider converting to Judaism? He could make aliyah. We could sure use his type here.
The writer is the co-chairman of IPCRI, the Israel Palestine Center for Research and Information, a columnist for The Jerusalem Post, a radio host on All for Peace Radio and the initiator and negotiator of the secret back channel for the release of Gilad Schalit.