Palestinian Vacation: A Letter by Mahmoud Abbas

By DONI KANDEL
My fellow Palestinians,
I would hereby like to declare vacation for our people.
After a long and arduous battle for statehood in the UN and relentless rocket attacks on the infidels I think some good old fashion down time is well deserved for all of us. I hear Mecca is beautiful this time of year.
Now I know what you are thinking: What about our eternal battle against the Zionist infidels? How can we take a break from our burning passion to drive the Jews into the sea? I thought you told us we must destroy the Jew’s morale and besmirch his name whenever and wherever we can?
Do not fear my friends, after observing the events of the past few weeks I am confident that while we are on holiday the Jews will do the job for us.
Have you guys heard of this Facebook thing? Well, of course you haven’t because we don’t allow you to use the internet, but if we did, wow you would get a kick out of this. I hacked into this Jew’s Facebook page this week, some Zionist named Doni Kandel, and boy oh boy it was amusing.
There were Jews sharing our buddy Thomas Friedman’s article (Friedman is, of course, a Jew himself) arguing that we are not a made up people (someone remind me to print that out and add that to our “charter” by the way, I have been looking for a convincing argument on that subject). Friedman asserts that Bibi’s standing ovation in Congress was “bought and paid for by the Israel lobby.” A JEW ECHOING THE PROTOCOLS OF THE ELDERS OF ZION!!! And we have other Jews sharing this sentiment all over the internet! Are we on Candid Camera?! How lucky are we?!
Then there was this other Jewish kid who would make any great Jihadi propagandist proud. The kid did a wonderful job of taking a prominent and topical subject in America, which had nothing to do with the Jews, and turned it into good clean self-hating anti-Semitism. On his own blog this kid accused David Stern, the currently unpopular commissioner of the NBA of driving a hard bargain for Chris Paul because he was a greedy Jew. He went as far as to declare that “it’s time for him to step down as commish and wallow in his large sum of cash and retire in Florida like every Jewish boy from Jersey.” A kid who went to Jewish private schools, grew up in a Jewish home, surrounded by a good Jewish family and he is one of our best weapons! If we celebrated Christmas I would say it has come early (not as early as Obama’s Hanukkah of course).
And then there was this article I saw posted about the Zionists letting our man on the inside, MK Ahmed Tibi, write a sermon on the weekly Torah portion in their weekly religious publication. Tibi, the master of hate that he is, spun the enchanting story of Joseph and the brothers into a web of Jewish deceit and “jealousy”. LOL, classic Tibi! And it was the Jews who gave him the platform, not us!
All this in just one week, without even mentioning that the Jews are attacking their own Army!
So, as I said before, we can ease up a bit and let the Jews do the work for us. It’s time to gas up that camel, round up all the wives, and hit that sandy road. And if you are the type who can’t really relax and always needs to be active, I hear Peace Now is always looking for volunteers.
Your leader,
Mahmoud Abbas
P.S. Don’t forget to send your thank you cards to Hillary for attacking the Jew’s deteriorating democracy at the same time that she has opened communications with North Korea (who just declared Christmas lights as an act of military provocation, hahaha brilliant!). A fruit basket wouldn’t be out of line if you are so inclined.