Working in the media for nearly a year has left me in a comfortably numb state of mind. Reporting on countless stabbing attacks, car ramming incidents and the occasional shooting has left me desensitized to the reality of the the latest wave of terror to wash over Israel.

When the "stabbing intifada" first began every attack left a mark. I would have trouble sleeping as I reviewed the details and the gruesome pictures we sorted through before deciding which ones were suitable to release to the public. After a while it became automatic, robotic, almost simple to write up a quick report and choose a photo- preferably the one with the least amount of blood- and continue on to the next story.

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Call it denial, desensitization, a defense mechanism- it doesn't matter. It was what I needed to get through the next day of work without breaking down. It was what I needed so I could continue leaving my house every morning and make my commute from my sleepy suburb into the office in Tel Aviv.

It was simple. When walking outside I made myself more aware of my surroundings. I didn't wear my headphones or read the news, instead I found myself walking with my head up and my phone in my pocket. I tried to arrange for any gathering of friends to take place at an indoor location. When I walked the street the goal was always to get inside safely because that is where the threat ended.

While I realize now just how ridiculous it sounds, I had on some level accepted that this was the new normal and that it wasn't going to change any time soon and found a way to adjust my view of reality and push forward.

That is until yesterday.

Yesterday I was at work as the news broke. The details trickled in slowly.

"Suspected terror attack in the West Bank, woman in serious condition"

Another attack.

"Stabbing victim in Otniel dies of wounds, terrorist at large"

Oh sad that she died. Scary that the terrorist got away.

"Terrorist stabs a mother of six with children looking on, security forces are searching for the perpetrator"

Wait. What?

It has been years since we heard of an attack remotely similar to this one. This was the first attack where a Palestinian terrorist infiltrated a yeshuv since March 2011 when five members of the Fogel family were murdered in their home as they slept.

Here it was again. A terrorist had brazenly entered a yeshuv, entered a private home and butchered a mother in front of three of her six children. The children only survived because the terrorist could not remove the knife from the mother's body.

It was this incident that broke through the cold numbness that had washed over me in recent months. My blood ran ice cold and then hot like lava.

Dafna Meir, a 39 year old nurse and mother to six children, two of whom she adopted because she had more love to give even after dedicating her life to taking care of others was killed in the warm home she had worked to create for her family, a safe space where no harm was supposed to come to them.

What does it mean when home is no longer safe? What does it mean that getting off the street and into a safe space is no longer an option because now nowhere is safe?

I was astounded and frankly disgusted to see people blaming the victim herself for having established her home in a settlement, claiming she had brought this on herself by putting her family in danger by living in occupied territory. In this alternate universe apparently murder is excusable when someone does something you do not agree with.

I am broken thinking about the poor Meir family and the children who will never rid themselves of the image of their mother being murdered before their eyes.

I am frightened on a whole new level having realized that this new normal is not normal at all and that no place is safe from the terror that is plaguing Israel and it's people.

I am horrified by the concept that home no longer means a safe place to lay my head.

The objective of terrorism is just that: a violation of the basic right of every human to be and feel safe. The goal of terrorism is to strike fear into the hearts of the people to have them question their every move every minute of the day.Terrorism has once again come in from the streets, infiltrating our houses and destroying the fundamental concept of 'home.'

Every attack leaves another family to adapt to a new reality. As after every tragedy to strike the Jewish people, the good and kindhearted will reach out to help the family in any way they can. As always, the Israeli people will draw strength from each other and carry on.

The strength and stamina of the Israeli people has driven this tiny state forward for the last nearly 70 years and nothing will change now. Terrorism rises and falls, comes and goes with the political tides but the Israeli people continue on, building, inventing, growing and changing the world for the better.

We will continue on as usual, praying for safety and change. The only real difference this time around is we may find ourselves double locking our doors during the day instead of just at night.




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