In the shadow of the ongoing war with Iran that leaves Israelis in their homes, health experts in the United States had already warned in the past that chronic loneliness has become a public health crisis. Many studies indicate that prolonged loneliness is associated with an increase in rates of depression, cardiovascular diseases and even an increased risk of mortality.
According to a report published on the Psychology Today website, headlines in recent years warn that people today have fewer friends than ever, and offer advice on how to create new circles of friends. At the same time, a broad discussion is taking place on the question of whether smartphones have harmed social life, and whether remote work has contributed to deepening the feeling of isolation among people.
However, alongside these explanations a deeper question arises: Why do many people experience loneliness even in an era in which communication between people has never been so accessible.
"The third places"
The sociologist Ray Oldenburg argues that the existence of healthy societies depends on what he calls "the third places" – informal public spaces where people meet outside the home and work. These are places in which regular social encounters are created and relationships develop naturally.
Examples include coffee shops, bowling clubs, various hobby groups or volunteer organizations. In such places people meet again and again, talk and develop connections, until sometimes the acquaintance becomes a real friendship.
According to Oldenburg, the home is "the first place", the workplace is "the second place", and those informal social spaces are "the third place" – the place where human connections are created beyond the obligatory frameworks of life.
However, today, as studies show, those "third places" are gradually disappearing. The number of visitors to them is decreasing, and fewer people are joining clubs, associations or regular social frameworks.
Loneliness as a social environment
Often loneliness tends to be seen as only an internal feeling – something that occurs within the person himself. However, there are researchers who believe that it may actually be the result of environmental and social conditions.
According to this approach, loneliness is not only a personal emotion, but a result of the dismantling of social frameworks that in the past turned human encounters into a regular part of the routine. When such social spaces disappear, the possibility of building stable social networks also gradually shrinks.
How friendship is created
Sociologists have pointed out for years that close friendships almost never arise because someone decided "to look for friends". Instead, they develop gradually through repeated encounters, shared activities and increasing personal exposure.
People meet the same people again and again, talk with them, and slowly reveal more details about themselves. In this way the sense of trust is built, from which a real friendship develops.
Studies consistently show that participation in volunteer organizations and community activity is associated with higher levels of life satisfaction, greater social trust and better mental health.
In other words, social capital is a cumulative process: The more social networks and frameworks of belonging a person has, the more resources are available to him – emotional and sometimes also material.
Beyond personal solutions
The findings of the studies indicate that it is not enough to suggest that people suffering from chronic loneliness "take care of themselves", turn to psychological treatment or put the mobile phone aside. Such steps may help in personal coping, but they do not restore the social infrastructure that has weakened.
What is required, according to the researchers, is the creation of opportunities for repeated encounters around shared interests – encounters in which people see each other again and again, until acquaintance turns into trust.
Even romantic relationships, as important as they may be, do not constitute a substitute for a broader network of social connections. It is precisely that diverse network of encounters, groups and communities that provides the foundation for healthy social life.