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Protest held in favor of Ross Geller in Rabin Square.(Photo by: PAIGE WILSEY)
Tel Aviv protests: Grunge never died (and neither did Tupac)
By ASHLEY O'BRIEN
08/28/2017
1. Grunge Never Died (And Neither Did Tupac)
There’s a widely* speculated theory that the vibrant city of Tel Aviv is, in fact, eternally stuck in the 90s. It seems this destination city has no escape from infectious boy bands, choker necklaces, and enough flannel to make any and all Brooklyn hipsters feel right at home.

The latest example providing evidence to this theory is a recent protest that was spotted in the streets of the White City. Local residents came out in masses** to rally for a cause that many would consider nostalgic, however for Tel Avivians, this a current and protest-worthy cause.

Nearly twenty years ago (yes, TWENTY), two of TV’s favorite characters, Ross Geller and Rachel Green, went ‘on a break’. The episode in question, ‘The One with the Morning After’, is set around Ross’s alleged and ambiguous infidelity, the consequences of which divided households, ripped friendships apart, and led to a direct increase in the sales of U2’s ‘With or Without You’.***

Inhabitants of Tel Aviv recently got wind of this news, and came to the defense of Geller, whom they deemed was treated unfairly, and that he and Rachel were, in fact, on a break.****

In response to this culturally (ir)relevant protest, here is a list of upcoming protests and rallies that are likely to be spotted in the off-beat city during the coming months.

1. Grunge Never Died (And Neither Did Tupac)

 


Nothing, NOTHING, unites Tel Avivians more than flannel; except, maybe Kurt Cobain. And what could better suit a country with more opinions per capita than any other country on Earth, than a good ol' fashioned conspiracy theory?

2. Fundraising for an official investigation into the buoyancy of the broken door vs. the combined mass of Rose AND Jack

 


He could have fit on that door and saved all of us many, many hours of heartache.

3. English is a made-up language, and these songs prove it…

MmmBop by Hanson, Zig-a-zig-ah by The Spice Girls, I’m Blue (Da Ba De Da Ba Di)…



COME ON. Don’t try to tell Israelis that English is a language of global importance, and then fill a decade with nonsense words set to incredibly catchy music.

4. Startups Against Y2K



Tel Aviv may only be a few years away from mass hysteria when they realize the Start Up Nation has been using lazy, 2-digit abbreviations for 4-digit years. Will the entire database of the country fail at once? Only time (or history) will tell…

In about 20 years, you will see a heated demonstration on whether the dress is actually blue and black, or white and gold.

 


*The author of this article has worked tirelessly to convince friends, relatives, and strangers of this theory, with little to no success.

**dozens

***Speculation, but it kind of seems like it could be true.

****It must be noted that this is NOT the author’s personal view. #TeamRachel
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