“My late husband wished me to re-marry,” says Judy Brown, “but it took me sixteen years. At first, I couldn’t even think about a second marriage, and then when I was ready, there was no one waiting in line to meet me.”
She started asking friends about setting her up. Judy, 67, a popular teacher, dancer, and choreographer in Jerusalem, has a huge circle of friends who adore her. “Yet only rarely was I fixed up,” she says.
Judy was always networking. In August 2012 she went to Ethiopia with a group informally known as the Trekkers. She asked Ellie Morris, whom she''d met on an earlier Trekkers trip, if she knew any eligible guys.
“I immediately thought about my neighbor, Trevor Davis,” says Ellie. “On paper this looked like a possibility – many similarities and both had suffered tragedy.” Trevor’s wife had died in 2001 at the age of 55.
Thirty years earlier, Ellie had made a successful match, and she was ready to try again. Judy and Trevor were interested and they exchanged email addresses.
“The singles scene was difficult for older people like me,” says Trevor, 70, but Judy met his two criteria: she had been married before and she was a non-smoker. Similarly, Judy was satisfied: Trevor had been married before, had children, and was a family man.
They had their first date during Sukkot in October, 2012. ‘When he walked into my home, he immediately started showing me pictures of his grandchildren,” recalled Judy. “That was a plus for me.”
“Our date went well, but then I didn’t hear from Trevor for 10 days,” Judy noted. She decided to text him, choosing her words carefully: “Are you OK? I haven’t heard from you.”
“I was happy to receive Judy’s text,” says Trevor. “I had just been busy.” A retired electronic engineer, Trevor works full time as a caregiver – to his six grandchildren, two dogs, and three cats. He’s also a volunteer with the Border Police in his community of Asseret, about 35 miles west of Jerusalem.
Judy and Trevor come from similar backgrounds – they are both graduates of New York schools – she, from Queens College, he from Cooper Union; they both made aliya from New York – he in 1968, and she in 1990; and they both love music – he, as an amateur, and she as a professional.
When Trevor was on his way to Jerusalem for their third date, Judy heard that her father was dying in the US. Trevor’s response: “I’ll take you to the airport.” For Judy, those six words sealed their relationship. When Judy returned home, Trevor was waiting for her at the airport. Soon they became a couple.
There was one issue to resolve – Judy is active in the egalitarian services of her Jerusalem synagogue. For Trevor, this was a non-issue since he admits that he’s a “closet egalitarian.” For Judy, it was a compromise to sit in the separate women’s section in Trevor’s synagogue.
“It’s all about compromise,” says Judy, “and the decision to spend more weekends in Jerusalem than in Asseret.” In any case, they had decided to maintain two homes after their marriage. They would start a new life together, but still maintain their former links.
“My late husband would have liked Trevor,” says Judy. “They have so much in common. In fact, they were both fans of Perry Como.”
Judy and Trevor were married on November 3, 2013. Mazal tov.“