“We need white gloves, says Tamar, we cannot do our little number without white gloves!’
Both Tamar and Shmuel look at me, which clearly means that I will have to be the white gloves provider.. I have no idea where I could get them from. .We are preparing a little funny show for Purim, and we really need white gloves. I will have to take a long walk through the shops, because who sells and really who wears white gloves these days?
I enter the first shop. Underwear, shawls, custom jewelry.
“Do you sell white gloves?” I ask the sales lady.
She looks at me as if I would be slightly demented. I step out quickly and realize that it’s going to be a long morning.
I walk into another shop. No clients there just the shopkeeper. A good-looking, large man who wears a yellow striped shirt, jeans, a cowboy hat and matching boots. Somehow I have the feeling that he will understand the need for white gloves.
“I am looking for some white gloves!” I tell him.
“What would you need them for?” he asks and smiles as if I would have told him a joke.
“Well, I explain, we have a show on Purim, and I need three pairs!”
“Right now, he tells me, I don’t have any, but I have purple ones!”
“I need them white and not purple!”
“I’ll tell you what you do! You buy the purple ones, you soak them in some chlorine, I guarantee you they will become white, just as you want them!”
“Or they may disappear altogether!” I said and started to leave the shop.
“Don’t go, said the man, I have a coffee machine right here in the back, and I was about to make myself a cup of coffee. I am sure you haven’t had any breakfast, so join me for coffee and we’ll discuss gloves!”
I thanked him gracefully and left.
I entered another shop and was received by a Russian lady with a thick accent. Again I asked for white gloves.
“Why would you need white gloves? Look what a nice assortment I have here of sexy underwear, socks, and wait a minute, I have some gloves too!”
She shows me some thick bulky gloves lined with fur suitable for the North Pole.
“No, no, I need thin white gloves like Michael Jackson wears!’
“That meshuggener? Why would you want to wear gloves like he did?”
Time is running out, I’d like to be back home around noon and I still have no gloves!
It’s a beautiful day, the sun is shining, and I walk along the endless Herzl Street waiting for the miraculous appearance of white gloves in some shop.
In the next shop a pretty young woman tells me:
“I can order them for you, you would have them at the beginning of April!!”
This means I’d have them for Pessach, while I really need them for Purim!
I feel that I am getting tired. Maybe I’ll go back to that cowboy and buy the purple gloves and bleach them?
But somehow this solution doesn’t sound too reassuring!
I cross the street from one side to the other again and again. In another shop a man asks me:
“You need them for Purim?”
“Yes, yes!”, I say hopefully!
“Well, it’s not Purim yet! Try again in two weeks! But frankly I cannot promise you anything!’
There is a small kiosk at the end of the street right next to the open market.
The lady sells hats and shawls. Not the most inviting merchandise. Wearily I say hello to her and wearily I repeat the same sentence:
“I am looking for some white gloves!”
“OK, said the lady, just a moment, I have to get them down from the upper shelf!”
“Whaaat?, I exclaimed, you really ,really have them?”
“Of course I have them, why shouldn’t I have them! Wouldn’t I tell you if I wouldn’t have them?”
I stood there completely transfixed. Could it be that I am dreaming? I expect that soon the woman will say that right now she has no white gloves on stock.…
But the she brings down a box with gloves in all colors and sizes, even purple ones!
I got three pairs of gloves and I suddenly got all my energy back. I enjoyed the beautiful day and the warm sun. People who passed me by smiled at me, because my face probably showed quite clearly that I was now the proud owner of three pairs of white gloves. I started to look forward to lunch and an afternoon nap. Which may be invaded by dreams of white gloves…. It has been such an exciting morning! Lucca