A person is never too old to learn new tricks, even sexual ones, and Internet sites targeting older adults are providing this sector with new opportunities to discuss and explore their sexuality.
So say Ben-Gurion University of the Negev communications studies expert Dr. Galit Nimrod and Prof. Liza Berdychevsky, who researches recreation, sport, tourism and sexual behavior at the University of Illinois at Urbana/ Champaign.
The two of them used “netography” – a branch of ethnography that analyzes the free behavior of individuals on the Internet using online marketing research techniques to provide useful insights. The term is a combination of (Inter)net and ethnography and was coined by business Prof. Robert Kozinets of Canada’s University of York.
“Many older people preserve both a high interest in sex and a high involvement in sexual activities,” said Berdychevsky.
“The popularity of sex-related discussions in seniors’ online communities suggests that, in a reality of limited alternatives for open and direct sex-related communication, seniors are finding channels to satisfy their needs for information and support.”
Berdychevsky and Nimrod conducted an online ethnographic study in which they examined discussions of sexual topics in 14 online communities – seven based in the US, four in the UK, two in Canada and one in Australia – geared toward adults age 50 and older. They wrote about their findings in a paper that will soon appear in The Journal of Leisure Research.
Berdychevsky, who holds undergraduate and graduate degrees from BGU, said online communities offer notable potential for helping people cope with the three primary sexual vulnerabilities that occur in later life – health issues and life circumstances that affect sexuality, difficulties communicating with healthcare providers about sex-related problems and limited access to sexual health information.
The researchers drew their data from an existing dataset that archived messages for a one-year period. They then filtered the posts using various keywords related to sex. While sex-related discussion threads were a small portion of these messages, the researchers found that the threads with sexual content were quite popular, with some posts viewed as many as 5,000 times.
Seniors’ discussions of sexual subjects were lively and wide-ranging, the researchers found, with participants swapping opinions and information about topics such as age differences between sexual partners, taboos, samesex marriage, pornography, prostitution and the use of sexual aids, toys and sex-enhancing drugs.
For some users, the online discussions provided a form of leisure entertainment, with discussion forums that were characterized by open, lighthearted atmospheres and posts full of sexual jokes, anecdotes and innuendos, the researchers reported.
Some members wrote about how much they relished opportunities to engage in intellectual discussions about sex. An especially popular topic was societal stereotypes about older adults’ sexuality, the researchers found.
“Of particular interest was society’s lack of acceptance of sexuality in older adulthood, the reasons for this ageist view and the importance of changing it,” Berdychevsky said.
Some participants recounted bad experiences when they attempted to discuss sexual problems with doctors who ignored or dismissed their concerns, and other seniors disclosed they were too embarrassed to even initiate such conversations.
The anonymity of cyberspace enabled some seniors to overcome shyness or embarrassment and share for the first time their uncensored thoughts about sex. For people who received little or no sex education during their youth, online consultations with peers enabled them to expand their sexual knowledge and overcome obstacles to sexual fulfillment, the two women said.
Some seniors reported that their sex lives and relationships off-line were enriched as a result of their online activity, which emboldened them to talk more freely with their partners about their sexual needs and overcome hang-ups to try new sexual practices that they previously considered sinful or taboo. For seniors struggling with the loss of intimacy due to their partner’s death or declining health, the online forums provided emotional support and a place to vent their frustrations.
“It seems that the most significant changes from these online sex-related communications were cognitive and emotional, including a greater sense of entitlement for sexual pleasure and fulfillment, loosened inhibitions and a better understanding of the self and others,” Berdychevsky said.
“Members described various kinds of reappraisal that they achieved through online discussions, such as seeing sex differently or discovering strategies that affected – or had the potential to impact – their sex lives.”
Despite the popularity of sexual topics, community members often clashed about propriety, the researchers found. Online critics branded the sexual content offensive, pornographic and prurient, and chided participants for their frankness. Proponents characterized objectors as prudish and ignorant, vigorously defended freedom of speech and upheld the threads as interesting, amusing and informative.
Previous studies suggest that the seniors using these online communities are relatively young – with a mean age of 65 years, according to one estimate – and tend to be well educated, healthy and well-off financially.
Therefore, participants in the current study might not be representative of the broader population of seniors, the researchers cautioned.