Miriam Peretz: A mother who inspires hope amid loss

"I can choose to cry over my destiny, but every morning I wake up and look for the miracles in my life and thank God for the little lights. The miracle is that I can stand."

By ANAV SILVERMAN
Miriam Peretz at the recent launch of the English translation of her bestseller, ‘Miriam’s Song.’ (photo credit: ANAV SILVERMAN)
Miriam Peretz at the recent launch of the English translation of her bestseller, ‘Miriam’s Song.’
(photo credit: ANAV SILVERMAN)
The story of Miriam Peretz has touched the hearts of many and has left a lasting impression on the consciousness of the Jewish state.
Peretz, 62, a mother to six children, lost two sons in the span of 12 years during Israel’s battles with Hezbollah and Hamas.
Golani Brigade Reconnaissance Unit soldiers Lt. Uriel Peretz, 22, a commander in the Habok’im Harishon Battalion, was fatally wounded by a bomb planted by Hezbollah terrorists in Lebanon in 1998. His brother Eliraz, 32, a major and deputy commander of the brigade’s 12th (Barak) Battalion, married and father of four, was killed in an exchange of fire with terrorists in the southern Gaza Strip in 2010.
“One of my kids never got the chance to marry; the other never got to see his kids grow up. And I thought one trial would be enough,” Peretz said. “I never imagined that I would have to bury two sons in a lifetime.”
Remembrance Day and Independence Day are extremely difficult times for Peretz, who spoke about her family’s losses during the recent launch of the English translation of her book, Miriam’s Song: The Story of Miriam Peretz, at the Begin Center on May 8. The Hebrew version of the book, published in 2011, was written by author and senior journalist at Yediot Aharonot Smadar Shir and became an Israeli bestseller, with more than 20,000 copies sold. The English version, published by Gefen Publishing House, includes a recommendation by Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who describes Peretz as “a woman of valor of the Jewish People.”
“This is a week of pain and sorrow – a week where my heart is broken,” Peretz said at a meeting with a small group of journalists before the launch event.
Peretz, who is a widow – her husband, Eliezer, died in 2005 at age 56 – described how during Remembrance Day, around 500 people come to visit her home in Givat Ze’ev to pay their respects.
But it is on Independence Day that Peretz goes to Mount Herzl to visit the graves of her sons. “On Independence Day, I remember how much we pay for this country. I clean the graves of my children from all the flowers from the day before, and I speak to them. I ask if I can be happy today with the rest of the nation of Israel, and then I go celebrate with my grandchildren.
“I can choose to cry over my destiny, but every morning I wake up and look for the miracles in my life and thank God for the little lights,” said Peretz, who has 11 grandchildren. “The miracle is that I can stand. Every week, I meet soldiers, students and bereaved mothers. I tell them that from every crisis we can grow,” she told In Jerusalem. “It is only a matter of choice. This is the message of my book.”
Following the death of her first son, Peretz began traveling to schools, military bases and bereaved families of other fallen soldiers throughout the country to talk about Uriel and deliver motivational speeches. She did the same after Eliraz was killed in combat, becoming a voice of inspiration for citizens, military officers and political leaders alike.
After Operation Protective Edge in 2014, Peretz said that she visited some 60 families. “Before I knocked on their doors, I asked God to help me plant some hope in their hearts,” she explained.
“I’m not going to waste my life; I am going to give it meaning. What is the significance of my children’s deaths if I do not live to help others?” she asked.
“My choice to live is the victory over the enemy who killed my sons. My children fell so that other children could live here. I tell the soldiers to whom I speak that it is a privilege to defend our land. My enemies may have killed my children but not the spirit of this nation.”
Peretz was born in Casablanca, Morocco, and immigrated to Israel with her family in 1964 when she was 10 years old. A small woman, with red hair and eyes full of warmth, Peretz started her life in Israel in an immigrant camp in Beersheba. After graduating high school, she went on to study education at Ben-Gurion University of the Negev to become a teacher.
She married Eliezer, who was also Moroccan, and the couple first lived in Ofira, in the Sharm e-Sheikh area of southern Sinai, where Uriel and Eliraz spent the early part of their childhood.
After Israel evacuated Sinai in 1982, the Peretz family moved to the Givat Ze’ev community northwest of Jerusalem, where Miriam became the principal of an elementary school.
Among the well-known figures whom Peretz’s story has touched is former IDF chief of staff and Golani commander Lt.-Gen. (res.) Gabi Ashkenazi, under whom Uriel and Eliraz served. “We are familiar with loss and death, but rarely do we cross the same door to the same mother,” said Ashkenazi, who is a close friend of Miriam’s and spoke at the book launch.
“I remember when I first visited the Perez family in Givat Ze’ev, it was in November 1998. Uriel was in my home unit. I remember we visited this regular house with a united family.
“During my long career of 40 years, I’ve seen many moments of courage, but I’ve never seen such a will to continue life from loss as Miriam embodies, the way she channels her loss and pain to inspiration for soldiers and to the entire country. Miriam’s story is the story of the State of Israel,” said Ashkenazi.
“I’m very proud and privileged to know this lady. Few know how much she has helped commanders approach families who have lost loved ones – she became an address for the challenges we deal with in the army,” the former IDF chief of staff added.
Peretz is also involved with the Orthodox Union’s Mashiv Haruach program, named after Miriam’s sons, which runs inspirational seminars for thousands of IDF soldiers about the history of Zionism.
“Miriam works around the clock,” said the executive director of OU Israel, Rabbi Avi Berman. “Her life is very intense. God gave her a chore that she didn’t choose, but she is running with it,” said Berman at the book launch.
Throughout Peretz’s talk at the book launch, the audience listened captivated.
Peretz managed to speak with a voice full of strength, heartbreak and a sense of humor. Her sentences were punctuated with periods of inspiration, and she often mentioned God.
She recalled how when US President Barack Obama visited Israel in 2013, she met him at the state dinner. “Obama heard my story and gave me a hug at the dinner,” she said. “But I prefer the hugs of my people in the Ben-Yehuda market or on the streets – they truly understand what it means to be an Israeli mother.
“It is easy to sing when you have miracles in your life. But the test of faith is to love God when he takes your two children away. My faith in God gives me strength. Sometimes I think that God forgets me, and other times I feel that he hugs me. But I never let go of my faith, even though I can’t understand how God runs this world.
“Nothing is certain in life,” she said. “If I could hear my boys say ‘Ima’ [Mother] again, that would be enough.”