Shuk drowns in gentrification

Plethora of new shops cause landslide of hipsters as entire shuk crumbles into pretentiousness.

By SHAUL GOLDBERGSTEIN
February 21, 2018 17:34
1 minute read.
An unidentified hipster shops for artisanal walnut oil, just before the pompous ‘balagan’ that shook

An unidentified hipster shops for artisanal walnut oil, just before the pompous ‘balagan’ that shook the shuk last Friday. (photo credit: MARC ISRAEL SELLEM)

The construction of 45 new pretentious sandwich shops each serving different types of sourdough and ciabatta bread with aioli and crème fraiche caused a massive landslide in Jerusalem’s iconic Mahaneh Yehuda market on Friday. Seven hipsters, most with man-buns, were slightly injured.

“Over the last few years, more than half the shops in the shuk have been turned into new restaurants in an unprecedented gentrification,” said area resident Hulda Ben-Porat. “This year, the process became even more extreme as 30 new boutique coffee-grinder places opened and 20 new vegan street-food restaurants were in the process of opening.”

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