Viral vertically sliced bagel tears Twitter apart

St. Louis bagel photo garners reactions from Chuck Schumer, the NYPD and more

March 28, 2019 15:36
3 minute read.
A HOMEMADE bagel with fresh gravlax from ‘Modern Jewish Baker.’

A HOMEMADE bagel with fresh gravlax from ‘Modern Jewish Baker.’ . (photo credit: SHANNON SARNA)


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An innocent tweet about enjoying bagels in St. Louis, Missouri has made waves across Twitter - and beyond.

Earlier this week, Alek Krautmann, an employee of a government weather agency, tweeted a photo of bagels from the Panera bread chain inexplicably sliced vertically.

“Today I introduced my coworkers to the St Louis secret of ordering bagels bread sliced,” he wrote. “It was a hit!”

But before long Krautmann, who at the time had just over 1,000 followers, was being hit from left and right by those outraged at the bread-based crime. By Thursday, the tweet had been liked more than 21,000 times and garnered close to 9,000 replies. Including from some unexpected places.

New York Sen. Chuck Schumer tweeted: “On behalf of the New York Delegation: St. Louis, fuhgeddaboudit.”

Indeed New Yorkers seemed the most outraged at the bagel blasphemy. Chief Dermot F. Shea, the chief of detectives with the New York Police Department, implied that many Twitter users had attempted to report the bagel order as criminal.

“Thank you for reporting this crime, but we only serve New York City, where this would NEVER happen,” he tweeted. also weighed in, writing: “Bagel comes from the Old High German boug meaning “a ring.” Please cut accordingly.”

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals also commented, saying “Just no, St. Louis. The only thing that makes any of this okay is that #vegan cream cheese exists. #Bagelgate.”

Even popular author James Patterson quoted the tweet, writing: “Just found my next true crime novel.”

Some felt the need to defend the name of St. Louis from the accusation that vertical bagel slicing is a hallmark of the city.

“I am from St. Louis, eat lots of bagels, once worked in a bagel shop in St. Louis & have never heard of — much less done — any such thing,” wrote Bryn Stole, a reporter at the New Orleans Advocate.

Christopher Kozal Brennan, a writer from St. Louis, tweeted that: “As your resident friend from #StLouis I feel like I need to speak out and say that I have never seen this in my entire life until today. I condemn this unequivocally and hope that we as a city and a nation can recover together.”

A few brave souls defended the slicing, noting that it could provide more surface area for cream cheese, or a slimmer option for dieters. But they were drowned out by the voices of indignation.

And the shock and horror wasn’t just limited to Twitter. Headlines across national and international media were befuddled by the bagel brutality.

The New York Post reported that “Twitter lashes out at ‘sociopath’ bagels sliced like bread,” while TIME magazine wrote “This Sliced Bagel Hack is Really a Lot for Many People to Take In” and USA Today went with the headline “’It’s like a crime scene’: Man shares polarizing ‘St. Louis secret’ bagel order on Twitter.”

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