Republican presidential front-runner Donald Trump will address the American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) policy conference next week in Washington. He has a habit of speaking his mind, and his upcoming remarks promise not to disappoint. I’ve obtained an advance copy of Trump’s speech that I wish to share with you, making clear his position on Israel – he loves it and his feelings towards the Jewish people, whom he also loves. It reads as follows: “My name is Donald Trump and I’m a big fan of Israel. Israel’s given a lot, but hasn’t been given a lot of credit for what they’ve given.I, however, have made massive contributions to Israel. Believe me. I have tremendous love for Israel. I happen to have a son-in-law and a daughter that are Jewish, okay? And two grandchildren that are Jewish. So, I really do love Israel. Believe me. Israel is our real strong supporter. I was even the Grand Marshall of the Israeli Day Parade in 2004 - or what I guess some refer to as the Salute to Israel Parade – whatever it’s called, I was in the front of it.And my people wouldn’t want me to say this, but I’m planning going to Israel, and I’ll be meeting with Bibi Netanyahu, who’s a great guy. I even helped him with a campaign commercial for his re-election campaign in 2013. He’s a good man, he’s worked very hard, but he has absolutely no support from President Obama — absolutely none. Obama is the worst thing to ever have happened to Israel. But I would call myself “very, very pro-Israel.” In fact, there is a lot to learn from Israel. Believe me. If you think walls don’t work, all you have to do is ask Israel. Same model. I even plan on doing business in Israel one day. For years I’ve been in talks and talks and even more talks to build a tower on the border of Tel Aviv, a Trump hotel in Netanya and the Trump Golf Course in Ashkelon. None of these efforts have ever come to fruition, of course, but I believe one day they really might. Or so I keep saying. I have great affection for Israel and its people, and I believe that Israel is a worthy place to be included in the list of communities which host Trump golf centers. Be proud, you made the cut. It’ll be huge. So what if I have properties in Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Qatar and Saudi Arabia – and if I partner with them and with Kuwait and the Emirates – but I still don’t have a single business dealing in Israel? I will someday. Believe me.Let me be sort of a neutral guy on Israel. I don’t want to say whose fault is it, I don’t think it helps. Some people ask me ‘how do you remain neutral when the US considers Israel to be America's closest ally in the Middle East?’ It doesn't help if I start saying, 'I am very pro-Israel, very pro, more than anybody on this stage.’ I can’t negotiate as well if I take sides, but with that being said, I am totally pro-Israel. Believe me.I think it serves no purposes generally to say there's a good guy and a bad guy. Let me be sort of a neutral guy on Israel.But I'm a negotiator like you folks; we are negotiators. The Iran deal can be renegotiated. Is there anybody that doesn't renegotiate deals in this room? This room negotiates them -- perhaps more than any other room I've ever spoken in.Effective negotiations could happen with many Arab leaders…like…such as…well I hear the King of Jordan seems like a nice man, but I haven’t been working too much with the Arab leaders to be honest with you. I mean, except for Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Qatar, Saudi, Kuwait and the UAELook, I happen to have a son-in-law and a daughter that are Jewish, okay? And two grandchildren that are Jewish.I know this may seem confusing, but sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest - and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure; it's not your fault. Because I am so smart, I know why you’re not going to support me. You’re not going to support me because I don’t want your money. I do want your support, but I don't want your money. Believe me. But, you are the only kind of people I want counting my money – little short guys that wear yarmulkes every day.And no, that’s not an offensive stereotype. Some critics like the Anti-Defamation League have problems with me saying things like that. They call some of my other remarks ‘obscene’ too, because they appeared to tie Jewish donors to white supremacists. But to be clear, when I was asked on 'Morning Joe' about white supremacist David Duke and other racist individuals or groups that endorse my candidacy, I did say that he was a bad person. I did not immediately condemn Duke on CNN because I don’t like to disavow groups if I don’t know who they are. I mean, you could have Federation of Jewish Philanthropies in ‘groups.’ Believe me.You know, I happen to have a son-in-law and a daughter that are Jewish, okay? And two grandchildren that are Jewish.And lastly, as far as comparisons of me to Hitler go, I condemn these remarks completely. Now, everyone, raise your right hand and repeat after me. ‘I do solemnly swear that I — no matter how I feel, no matter what the conditions, if there’s hurricanes or whatever — will vote, on or before the 12th, for Donald J. Trump for president.’ Hands raised?I love Israel. I love the Jews. I swear. Believe me. Thank you. You may put your hands down. Hey, where is everybody?”Steve Rabinowitz is a founder of Bluelight Strategies, a Washington, DC public affairs firm, a Jewish Democrat and a would-be satirist.