People watching….hmmm my favorite. Sitting in one of my favorite spots on Dizengoff, Nola – aka fun environment for people watching and American treats like the sprinkles cookie and café late (café afuch) that was served to me in a mug reminding me of childhood camping days in Big Bear California. John Mayer is playing in the background and a little cutie of a toddler keeps peering into the bakery window. On Sunday, I start another undercover mission...Chemo, oh yes that lovely chemo.But, at this moment no one in the café has a clue that I have perfected the art of makeup drawn eyebrows and am wearing a wig. I have metastatic breast cancer.It started at the age of 25. But, wait let’s back up a bit. I grew up in California. At the age of 21, after finishing my business/marketing degree I arrived in Israel. I served in the foreign relations division in the IDF, on the border of Gaza and Egypt. I worked, and then started my MA. During my last semester on a trip abroad my breast started hurting. Then the words you only see in movies or hear about another person caught me: you have cancer. Wait, even here there was a moment of laughter (obviously not at that instant, the laughter came much later). When the doctor told me, I didn’t understand the word “malignant” in Hebrew. So I had to double check, wait do I have cancer? Then came the crying and shock, followed by everyone around me in fight mode scheduling doctor appointment etc. To this day, I remember where every single person sat or stood in that little office, their exact position. The expression on the doctor’s face will always be ingrained in my memory as he had to tell me these little words that at that moment I would have no idea how much would change my life forever.
So yes, I am C. Girl, 28-years-old living with metastatic breast cancer. The past three years have been a whirlwind of experiences that I still haven’t fully understood. I don’t think anyone can fully understand what is happening. It is a traumatic process. How do you deal with something traumatic that is still happening? You breathe. You have good days and bad days. Realistically sometimes you have good hours and bad hours. But, through it all you try to capture and enjoy the moments such as this one, finishing my café late and going to meet a good friend.
Signed, C. Girl.