Shopaholic goes dental

So don''t worry, I''m not going to rant about nostalgia and consumerism again. Instead I''m going to tell you about my successful attempt at self-improvement. If two weeks ago I was paralyzed by the thought of all the opportunities for impulsive buying that my new credit card now allows me, last Sunday I decided to prove to myself that impulse buying can be productive too. And what''s more responsible and productive than a check up at the dentist?


Fast forward five hours and I''m sitting in the Meuchedet waiting room, kicking myself for thinking that having latex and metal inserted into my mouth is a better idea than broadening my shoe collection. The secretary calls me up to fill out more forms and informs me that I''m entitled to a free cleaning.


Well fine, if I''m here already...

Okay, I''ve got someone in an hour. She''s great but she''s very thorough. Are you okay with that?
Why would I not? I want it to be thorough, don''t I?
Of course thorough is better, but some patients aren''t into it. I always warn them, so there''s no trauma afterward.

So it turns out that “thorough” is synonymous with “painful.” She gave me someone else instead, who she promised was “less thorough.” Sonia, as I''m going to call her, was eating a green apple when I walked in. (It''s amazing how different your first impression of someone is if they are eating a green apple and not popping rugulach into their mouth by the second like my GP Dr. Svetlana. More about her another time). The cleaning was virtually pain-free and Sonia assured me that my teeth were in good condition. My only problem, she explained, is that my gums are a bit swollen and need to be massaged with little wooden sticks daily. She then proceeded to jab between my teeth with them.


See, it feels like a massage, no?

Actually, it kind of hurts.
But in a good way, like a massage, no?

Actually, Sonia, it hurt in a painful way, which is how things usually hurt. Unless pain has even more synonyms I''m unaware of besides for "thorough."

My little dental adventure was an interesting addition to my credit card bill, but I think that next time I''ll just stick with the usual shoe sale. Feel free to share if you''ve heard of any, I''ve a mouth full of pearly whites and a will to compensate!