Today is the 5th Yahrzeit of my Grandma Freda Rawlinson z''l: chaim aruchim to mum and Uncle Nick. I was blessed to have three grandparents in my life, Grandma Edith Gould (z''l) till I was almost 24, Grandpa Cecil Rawlinson (z''l) till I was 36 and Grandma Freda (z''l) till I was 43. By 'eck, as we say in Ra'anana, I miss them. Grandma Freda (z''l), uppermost in my mind today so I talk about her, she was wonderful and I loved her so much (tears in my eyes...) and she loved me...she adored me and the feeling was mutual. I was blessed to have her in my life for so long, she was with us till she was a few days short of her 97th birthday...her last day, and we had no idea it would prove to be her last day, was a normal day, she was in great spirits, laughing as Raphael climbed and crawled all over her, she had a great lunch...drifted away in her sleep that night. She was always saying that (me being adopted), G-d was good when He gave me to them, like I was a gift to them...no!...they were, and mum and dad still are, Thank G-d, a gift to ME., as the saying goes, the gift that keeps on giving...Of course, I have the love of my parents, of Yaf and the kids, of Tara (sis), of all the family, but it doesn't replace the love of grandparents...all the love we have, each 'bit', that 'bit' between each member of the family, it's unique just as the love from a grandparent to a grandchild, and visa versa, is unique. The love between Grandma and me, I'll never, not on this Earth, feel that again.Five years...I can't believe I haven't seen her for five years...I'll never feel again, not in this World, the love which Grandma Freda (z''l) felt for me, that unquestioning, non-judgemental love. It was an undiluted love, uncomplicated, not interspersed with, I use the word again, judgements. I was perfect in her eyes and can any of us say we are perfect in our wife's/husband's eyes or in our parents' eyes? Its almost as if the love a grandparent feels for a grandchild is on another level...I see it between my parents, Yaf's parents and our children...am I right? I mean, I couldn't love my children more than I do but am I saying that my parents love my children more than I do? Am I saying that my grandparents loved me more than my parents love me? Of course not. I'm not saying that my parents love my children more than I love them, just that it's the same love but clearer and more palpable because there's nothing else there, not parental responsibility, not the judgement of a parent towards a child, just the love. I think the way to put it is like this....squeeze an orange, the juice, into a glass and do the same with another orange, another glass. In one, add nothing, in the other, add water...same 'goodness' in both glasses but with the undiluted orange juice, you taste it more fully, nothing but the juice...the other drink, all the orange, all the goodness, all the nutritional value, is in the glass but there's other 'stuff'... or another way...the love between a grandparent and a child, it's kind of removed from everyday life, it's untouched by judgements, it's more direct, it's palpable and the feel of it is not hindered by judgements and everyday 'stuff'...there are no other issues between grandchild and grandparent, there's just the love.Everyone we love in our lives, all unique, all irreplaceable...we mustn't take them for granted, we mustn't take 'the hear and now' for granted....we must do everything we can to ensure that, in the future, we say "I'm so happy that I did..." and not "I wish I had...."Shabbat shalom.