How often in life is one blessed to meet a mentor whose qualities are so pure? A man of vision and of action, a man of truth, faith and unconditional love for the many whose lives he touched. All this crowned with humility. While writing these words, I’m listening to the very same calming hassidic sounds which were an inseparable part at the start of our group’s weekly Jewish coaching class in 2010-2011.
Benny’s presence in the classroom was always felt. Through his gentle soul, optimism and genuine sincere love for us his students, everyone felt at ease. And we his students felt the very same for Benny. His hug was a hug of a loving friend, a father, a dear brother. Only and always wanting the very best for you to happily be the YOU of your choice, without judgement.
Benny came on aliyah from Argentina, where he was born in 1944, at a young age with no affiliation to his Jewish roots. In his beautifully written autobiography titled Ish Chotzeh Yisrael he literally takes the reader on a journey through his fascinating life. How while serving in the IDF he became aware of and subsequently strongly connected to his faith and trust in Hashem. Although having greatly succeeded in the business world, Benny was driven to a much higher calling. He studied life coaching, furthering his studies in England where he qualified as a master life coach. That led him to open his BSD School for Jewish Coaching, after developing theories based on Jewish sources.
My Rav gifted me Benny’s book with a personal blessing. Soon after, with book in hand, I visited Benny five years ago, asking him to also write me a dedication. Those two blessings, which I printed, are now pasted in my personal siddur in between Maimonides’s 13 principles of faith, Ani Ma’amin. I recite all these together every morning. In our meeting I shared with Benny an opportunity which came my way. He looked at me with his kind eyes, yet forcefully pressed me for answers pertaining to the opportunity discussed. Answers not easy to give. His caring love and concern by far outweighed the magnitude of his “spot-on” tough questions. Yes, being a man of vision, he could sense my insecurity for this venture. How blessed I am to further grow and develop into the person I strove to be, guided and coached by Benny.
Benny wrote a number of books on the subject of coaching, including The Secret of Jewish Coaching, based on Kabbalah and Jewish wisdom, published in Hebrew, translated into English and Korean. The central point of the book is that “you are a person, a world and a shrine.”
In fact we all are. That means we all have instilled in us massive strengths and treasures. While reading the book, you’ll discover that you are close and capable to reach these strengths and treasures from within you, changing them into a life experience. Once you allow yourself the space, you’ll experience the complete magic in your heart and the heart of the individual you’re coaching. A personal note. I needed to have a medical test at a clinic in Jerusalem. While crossing the road to get to my appointment, Benny drove past me. Minutes later he called me to ask if I’m alright. Benny, in a split second noticed my facial expression and the way I was walking. It was clear to me why and how he noticed. A few years prior to the above mentioned course, when I originally met Benny, I signed up for a round of 10 private coaching sessions. After those 15 hours of listening, Benny deeply understood me, more than others might understand in a lifetime.
One of the first coaching classes was held on Jerusalem’s Mount of Olives. Benny presented each of us with a personal letter, instructing each of us to spend time alone in the awesome and famous Mount of Olives cemetery, if possible next to a grave of someone we treasure. To read the letter, written “by our heart” using the time to powerfully connect with our inner soul. Once experiencing the moment, to make a clear personal commitment each one to himself, of the new path of life he is happy to engage on.
Closing of a circle. My mentor Benny was laid to rest in the same special Mount of Olives Cemetery. I’m at the crossroads of a major successful breakthrough which I’ll now share with my beloved coach Benny at his place of rest. I will miss him dearly. May his legacy live on and his dear neshama (soul) rest in peace.
The writer is chair of Telfed Jerusalem