Software Review: Iron Man is a rusty old can

The graphics are terrible and seem to have been taken from a previous generation of computer programs.

By JUDY SIEGEL-ITZKOVICH
iron man 88 248 (photo credit: Courtesy)
iron man 88 248
(photo credit: Courtesy)
Think how nice it would be if wars (if they had to exist) were fought by soldiers wearing suits of armor that made them invincible and fired directly without the need for carrying weapons; if both sides had access to such equipment, there really wouldn't be any point to war at all. This outfit was invented by engineer Tony Stark, the fictional hero of this third-person action game. The character is the same as the protagonist of the last year's movie, Iron Man, which starred Robert Downey Jr., Terrence Howard and Jeff Bridges - but the computer game doesn't hold a candle to the film. Tony, a genius inventor who heads Stark Industries, created the suit in various designs and colors; as you proceed through the missions, what he wears will get shinier and more colorful. The soles of his feet and the palms of his hands emit a nuclear-power-like energy that propels him through the air and also serves as flame throwers. When you practice the skill of flying through targets, hovering and landing while creating shock waves, it is similar to the moves of Harry Potter learning to play quidditch on his broom. His chest repulsors recharge from time to time to fire a laser-type force that smashes gates and explodes tanks. Arab terrorists (the nationality is clear in the movie but not in the game) kidnap Stark to get him to develop more suits of armor, but when he realizes that the equipment he has invented is a danger to mankind, he aims to destroy all his factory's stocks of equipment. The graphics are terrible and seem to have been taken from a previous generation of computer programs. The action in all three levels of play is so monotonous and dull that the player will sometimes wish Tony were unable to "reboot" his heart when he occasionally gets cardiac failure. The movie actors have voice-overed their roles in the video game, but they sound so hollow and distant that they sound as through they're reading their script while sitting in a metal garbage can. The Iron Man game is yet additional proof of the rule that - with few exceptions - games created to promote the sale of movie tickets are doomed to be disappointing.