After divorce: Things to consider to succeed in a second marriage

It is important to put priority on healing after a divorce, to better prepare for the next relationship.

By MIKE GROPPER
April 19, 2015 14:03
Divorce

Divorce. (photo credit: ING IMAGE/ASAP)

 
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People who divorce may have good reason to fear starting over and remarrying. The divorce statistics for second marriages are quite alarming with many studies reporting that although 70 percent of divorced people remarry, 60% of second marriages end in divorce. What is counterintuitive about second marriages is that they defy the common belief that we learn from our experience. According to the statistics stated above, prior marriage experience doesn’t predict an increase in the wisdom on how to stay married the second time around. Therefore, a question needs to be asked: Is there something inherent about relationships that make it difficult for people to learn from past mistakes? The literature on remarriage highlights several things worth considering.

Make sure you have worked through the loss
I always tell my clients who are divorcing that even after ending the worst of relationships it is natural to feel sad as a result of the loss. Nothing was all bad and certainly there were many shared events, trips, memories and parenting experiences, if children are involved.

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