Yonatan Boks, the young man paralyzed from the waist down as a result of the Bar Noar shooting in Tel Aviv, speaks about that tragic day, his hopes for the future and Shaul Ganon, who he says visited him in the hospital and asked him not to speak with police.
By TAL ARIEL AMIRYonatan Boks521(photo credit: Doron Golan, Jini Photo Agency)
Yonatan Boks, who was critically injured in the 2009 Bar Noar shooting, is more than a little angry at Shaul Ganon, a founder of the Bar Noar center in Tel Aviv and a well-known figure in the gay community.Boks says that while he never liked Ganon, his dislike only increased following the murder of his good friend, Lizi Trubishi, and center counselor Nir Katz. Boks finally decided to come forward with his suspicions about Ganon not being present at the the Bar Noar lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth center on the day of the shooting, and his feeling that he is at least partly to blame for what occurred.The first breakthrough in unraveling the case of the Bar Noar shooting that culminated in the death of the two young people came only about six months ago, when the gun used by the shooter was located.Though the gun could not be traced back to the shooter, it was the first significant breakthrough in a case that had cost police millions of shekels and thousands of man hours of work.In the end, the police gained vital information from a criminal who was already sitting in prison. He is an openly gay man who claims that he aided three of the recently arrested suspects in taking revenge on Ganon.The suspects are Hagai Felician; his younger relative (who cannot be named because he was a minor at the time of the shooting); and their friend, Terlan Hankishayev. According to the man who identified them and has become a state witness, the younger relative was sexually assaulted by Ganon, and they wanted revenge.Ganon, whose name was just cleared for publication two weeks ago, confessed to the sexual assault in exchange for an immunity deal in which he will testify against the suspects. At this time, it appears that only Hagai Felician, as the main gunman, will be charged with murder, with the other two to stand trial on lesser charges.In a bizarre twist, Yaakov Felician, Hagai’s older brother and a known associate of the Avi Ruhan crime family, was arrested last week on suspicion of raping a female lawyer who had arranged a meeting with him in order to offer her services for the Bar Noar suspects’ defense team.Attorney Ran Alon, Ganon's public defender, maintains: “My client is a completely normative man, with no criminal history, who is a well-known volunteer in the gay community. He is not suspected of aiding the shooter before or after. He had no idea that a shooting was being planned and has never done anything that could have led to this heinous murder. He has nothing to hide and wants this affair to be concluded as quickly as possible.”Boks had this to say:What happened in the hospital? He first came to see me while I was still intubated, so I couldn’t speak. My mother didn’t like him visiting me and asked him not to come anymore. But I saw Ganon again when I was moved to the adolescent rehabilitation floor, while he was visiting with other kids who were injured. I got the feeling that he was always watching me, waiting for an opportunity to approach me when no one else was there. One day, he found one.I had told my mother to go home to rest for a while.Suddenly, Ganon appeared in my room. I was lying in bed, and I felt like the only thing that interested him was the police investigation. He told me that if the police come to see me in the hospital, I’d be better off if I didn’t talk to them. He tried to convince me that I didn’t need to because I was seriously injured and having a hard time. He also told me to say that I didn’t know anything.I felt so bad so I just ignored him and looked away.I didn’t understand what he wanted from me, while I was injured and scared about being 14 and paralyzed.To tell you the truth, I didn’t care one bit then who the killers were.Maybe he was trying to make you feel more relaxed.I don’t think so. Later, it occurred to me that he had come to tell me what and what not to say.Are you angry at him now that you’ve heard about the sexual assault?I’m angry about the fact that my fate was to become paralyzed. I just feel disgust toward Ganon. I’m not surprised about the charges that were brought against him... I don’t know why, but I always had a feeling that he was somehow indirectly responsible for the youth club shooting. I didn’t think he was the shooter, of course. I can’t stop thinking about how strange it was that the one person who was at the club every Saturday night was not there on the day of the shooting.Is there a chance that you might come to the courthouse to see the people who are suspected of shooting you?I’m dying to look them straight in the eye. If I could have, I would have shot back at them.Do you want to look Ganon in the eye, too?That scumbag does not interest me. I don’t believe a word he says. I just want to know one thing: How does he explain that on the exact day of the shooting he was not at the clubhouse? It’s a mighty strange coincidence if you ask me.Is that what you would ask him if he was standing in front of you?If I were standing in front of him, I would spit on him. Actually, I don’t even think he’s worth being spit on. Maybe I’d tell him that now everyone will see who he really is.Why do you hate him so much?From the very first time I spoke with him, there was something about him that I didn’t like. He was always around children. Add this to his description on a dating site of what kind of partner he’s looking for, and that he might have sexually assaulted a 15-yearold [he has since confessed to the sexual assault charge], and you’ll understand why I don’t like him.BOKS, WHO is now 18.5 years old, could have become an important figure in the gay community. He was injured in the attack when the first bullet hit his shoulder,the second his vertebrae. When he came out of surgery, it was clear to doctors that Boks would never walk again.His rehabilitation has been a success, at least from an emotional point of view. However, Boks is full of surprises. He cut off contact with the gay community and distanced himself from other boys who were injured in the shooting. Since he was injured, he has been saying that for him the model family includes a mother and a father, and not two parents of the same sex.The question about Boks’s sexuality is left hanging in the air. “As a child I was very confused,” he says.“One of the reasons I started coming to the youth club was to figure out what I wanted. To this day, I still don’t know. I’m not gay, but I’ve never checked if I’m straight either. I’ve never had sex so I don’t actually know what my sexual preferences are.”It appears that the subject of sexual identity is not the most important thing on Boks’s mind right now.He has been much happier these last few months, after buying a car that is specially outfitted for disabled drivers. In addition, he has released a single to radio stations that will be broadcast soon. The lyrics of his new song, “It Will Be Okay,” refer to his life circumstances and end with an optimistic message.“I don’t like people who cry all day. All they talk about is how they were hurt and how much pain they are in. This is my destiny and I have come to terms with it,” he says.Destiny took a turn on Saturday night, August 1, 2009, Boks had made plans to come down from Haifa to Tel Aviv to go out with Trubishi. The two had planned to sleep at a mutual friend’s, and then go to the beach the next day and enjoy the first few days of summer vacation. Boks, who was 14 at the time, cannot forget the fight he had with his mother just before he left to go. It was the first time his mother refused to let him go out.What happened on the night of the shooting?I was yelling at my mother as I left the house.Apparently something in her subconscious was telling her to keep me home that day. I took the train to Tel Aviv, but my friend was late. Lizi and I decided to go together to his house on Rothschild, and after waiting for him for a while, we decided to go into the Bar Noar for a few minutes just to say hi to everybody.This was the first time I had gone in there in a very long time. I had planned never to set foot in the place ever again.Why? I had kind of separated myself from the rest of the kids there and they thought I was acting like a snob.And then one day Ganon approached me, and said he had heard a rumor that I had AIDS and I should get checked. I didn’t even know what AIDS was, but the next day he took me to the clinic next to the Azrieli Mall so that I could do a blood test. Of course, the test came back negative, but the whole incident made me like Ganon even less. It was then that I decided that I would never go back to the Bar Noar.So what had changed on the evening of the shooting?Lizi and I just didn’t feel like walking around on the street while we were waiting for our friend. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision that changed the course of my life.The first thing that I noticed that was different at the club was that Ganon wasn’t there. He was always there. The counselors told me that he hadn’t wanted to open the Bar Noar that night. I remember that I went inside and stood for a moment next to the bar. Then I went out on the balcony and then to the bathroom.When I came out, I saw the shadow of a person next to the door. As if someone was thinking of coming in, but then changed his mind and was turning around.Not for a moment did I imagine that something dangerous was about to take place. I went over to Lizi to ask her if she wanted to leave and that’s when I heard the gunshots. I felt a kind of pinching on my shoulder. Then I saw someone who was dressed all in black, including the mask he was wearing to cover his face. I saw that he was holding a gun and at first I thought it was just a cap gun. I felt like I was inside a scary movie, and that at any moment I would wake up.Suddenly, I felt as if my legs were floating in the air.But in fact I had fallen to the floor... I didn’t know that I’d been hit because I didn’t feel any pain. I used my hands to push myself under the table. Then the shooting stopped and there was lots of yelling. But what I remember most vividly was the smell. It was strange, like burned blood.Why didn’t you run away when you heard the first shots?Everyone has asked me that question... but I have no answer. Who would ever have thought that a murderer would go into an innocent club for children and start shooting? What happened when you woke up in the hospital after the shooting? My mother held my hand and didn’t say anything. I couldn’t feel my legs and I knew that I was paralyzed. I still don’t have any feeling in my legs, or feel any sexual attraction. I had hoped that the rehabilitation would help me walk again, but it didn’t happen.Were there moments when you couldn’t take it anymore? Sure – especially at the beginning, when I was still in the hospital. I woke up in the middle of the night and my mother wasn’t there... and I would start crying and think there was no reason to go on living.Today I’m in a different place. Now I want to sing, to succeed and maybe even go back to modeling, if someone would hire me.Does the fact that the Bar Noar suspects were caught add to your improved state of mind? To some extent, yes. But I already told myself a long time ago that I had beaten the murderer. Granted, my physical state has not changed – I am still stuck in this wheelchair – but at least I’m alive.BOKS WAS born in Moldova; his name was Sasha then. After his parents divorced, he made aliya with his mother at the age of two, and has not seen his father since.From a very early age, Boks tested his boundaries. He felt like Haifa was too confining for him and at every possible opportunity, would catch a train or bus to Tel Aviv without telling his mother or her partner.What was life like then?I met Lizi and my other friends through Messenger and other Internet forums. I loved meeting up with them on the third floor of the Azrieli Mall in Tel Aviv.Some of the kids there were straight, some were gay.I had the feeling that everyone was accepted there.There no one knew me as Sasha, the Russian boy. I introduced myself as Yonatan Cohen. There, I could be anyone I wanted to be. I would go with my friends to parties for adults.How did you end up at Bar Noar?The kids I met at the mall talked about it all the time, saying what an amazing and family-like place it was. I knew that it was a gay hangout, but I didn’t care. I was only 14 and I didn’t really know much about my own sexuality at that point, and I wasn’t looking to hook up with anyone, but just to hang out with friends. I liked talking and listening to music.I felt much more self-confident there than in my old life in faraway Haifa. It was like a virtual reality. That is why I had my name officially changed to Yonatan just three days before the shooting.When did you meet Ganon for the first time?I met him the first time I went to Bar Noar. He approached me and introduced himself. He told me that if I ever needed support or help, I could turn to him.We didn’t speak about sexual orientation in that first conversation, and I assume that he probably thought I was gay. It didn’t bother me that people thought I was.I had never been with a man or a woman, and I didn’t feel like I needed to identify myself.So how would you describe yourself today?A virgin.And what does your heart tell you?Nothing at the moment.What is your connection with the gay community now?I completely cut myself off from the gay community and I don’t feel a part of it at all. I don’t want to insult anyone, but I don’t think that I could technically be considered gay. Let me remind you that I went to the Bar Noar when I was only 14. Today I imagine myself having a female partner.That’s one of the reasons why I haven’t gone to the sessions with the other kids who were injured in the shooting. I’m sick and tired of all the whining. I want to move on with my life.Is this why you have brought a suit against the gay community and the Tel Aviv Municipality, requesting compensation of NIS 15 million? This case has not yet been settled and I don’t really want to talk about it. The gay community could have stationed a guard at the entrance or at least locked the door. The problem is that the door there was always open and the young people inside were completely exposed.What will you do with the money if they rule in your favor? I would buy a normal wheelchair and try to make my life more like it used to be before I was shot. I still dream about walking, and I would love to have the feeling of being able to walk again someday. I dream about having a device called ReWalk. It’s a motorized exoskeleton that you attach to your body and it helps you walk and move. The problem is that it costs tens of thousands of shekels and I can’t afford one. All I want is my mobility back.What do you think of the allegations of sexual assault against Ganon?Why should I have to pay for Ganon’s mistake? All this time I thought for sure the shooter was probably a gay kid’s father who wanted to take revenge on the gay community. But in the end, it turns out that it was something else completely. The main thing is that the gay community insists on calling it a crime of anger.How would you define it?I don’t think the crime needs to classified, but if it is, then it should be considered a hate crime against a specific person, and not against an entire community.There is no doubt in my mind that it was an expression of anger against Ganon, but we’ll never know why the shooter decided to shoot at all of us. If you want to hurt Ganon, then go chase after him! If it had been a crime of anger toward the gay community, the shooter would have gone to a gay bar instead of a place where kids who aren’t sure about themselves hang out.Has the arrest of the suspects given you closure? I have not been looking for closure all these years, and the arrest has not helped me walk again. I just got boiling mad when I saw a picture of Ganon covering his head with a T-shirt. If you’re innocent like you say you are, then why are you hiding? If you are innocent, come out and say publicly that you have no connection with the shooting.What do you have to be ashamed about if you didn’t do anything wrong?Erica Schachne and Ben Hartman contributed to this report. Translated by Hannah Hochner.
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