Psychology: You’ve got a friend

When a good friend does not come through, some people may feel hurt and others may feel angry.

December 28, 2017 16:38
3 minute read.
PEOPLE WALK past a cafe in Tel Aviv

PEOPLE WALK past a cafe in Tel Aviv. (photo credit: SHARON PERRY/REUTERS)

Did you ever think about who your friends are and why you like this or that person so much? Close your eyes for a moment and think about one of these individuals. What is it about that person that you like and makes you look forward to seeing or speaking to him/ her? I met my best friend Jeff when we were children and we have maintained a deep friendship ever since. Although he lives in the States and I am in Israel, I continue to feel the same old excitement whenever we have the opportunity to see each other. So, what makes a friendship work? University of Winnipeg sociologist Beverley Fehr, author of Friendship Processes, writes, “The transition from acquaintanceship to friendship is typically characterized by an increase in both the breadth and depth of self-disclosure.

In the early stages of friendship, this tends to be a gradual, reciprocal process. One person takes the risk of disclosing personal information and then ‘tests’ whether the other reciprocates.”


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