Daytime dating

Show the person you think he or she is worth it by ‘sacrificing’ one of your weekend nights.

By TAMAR CASPI
Date 370 (photo credit: courtesy)
Date 370
(photo credit: courtesy)
Going on a first date during the day is a tricky thing.
On one hand, you feel less pressure, you have more options for what to do and if the date is going well, it can continue into the evening. On the other hand, you’re automatically letting your date know that you aren’t willing to forgo a weekend night (“prime-time date night”), because you’re not sure if he or she is worth it.
And going to get coffee during the day is as noncommittal as possible. It says that you’re not even willing to pay for lunch because not only do you not want to risk your time, but you don’t want to waste your money.
When you go on half-a-dozen or so dates each month, it can get tough to constantly shell out the dough for dinners, but downgrading someone to a lunch or even worse, a coffee, is not the answer. Your own mind-set going into a date is different when it is “just” coffee. How many happily married couples do you know who went to coffee as their first date? Probably not many, if any. In theory it sounds easier, but it takes no effort from either of you in any capacity and that will be reflected in both how you act and the lens through which you see your date.
Show the person you think he or she is worth it by “sacrificing” one of your weekend nights, because you’ll get an overall higher quality date experience in return. Coffee dates are for your friends and coworkers – don’t mix romance into it.
Lunch isn’t so bad if it’s on the weekend and can continue into an afternoon activity, but asking someone out for lunch during the week when you know that one or both of you only has an hour off work is disrespectful. It sends a direct message that you want to make sure there is a quick and, absolute, non-negotiable end to the date and because you both most likely work, the goodbye is therefore mutual.
Whether it’s because you don’t have faith in dating anymore or you already have a feeling it’s not going to work with this specific person, a halfhearted attempt is not better in this case. If you don’t want to go out on a date, then just don’t. Save both of you the trouble, the effort and the face and either don’t ask for the date or accept the date, or cancel it by the day before at the latest. Weekday lunch dates are great once you’re in a relationship and really want to see your significant other more often.
Lunch dates on the weekend can end up being really great because they can go from lunch to an activity to dinner to dancing. Sometimes people’s careers and circumstances dictate a daytime date, so at least make the extra effort to show that it isn’t any less special. Give each other 100 percent of your attention and don’t give it a predetermined end time. Although prime-time date night is always the first choice, if you already know that you will get along and hit it off then it can be okay to make an exception – just let your date know that from the beginning. Tell your date that you have a fun day planned and it will be much more fun in the daylight than at nighttime.
Do you know that he or she loves animals? Then go to the zoo. Do you know that he or she loves the beach? Then plan lunch overlooking the water with a barefoot walk through the sand after. Do you know that he or she loves hiking and nature? Then find a cool path to explore and end it with happy-hour drinks and appetizers.
There is so much to do during the day, if you do plan a daytime date then make sure to make it extra special so that your prospect doesn’t feel like you’re trying to squeeze them in before your actual prime-time prospect.
The time of day is not the only way to take the pressure off. Dates don’t always have to be fancy meals where conversation may be forced and silences can be awkward and meals can be expensive. By planning an activity you are showing creativity, taking away the pressure and allowing interaction. And by an activity I don’t mean going to a movie, I mean doing something active. Do something outdoors, volunteer at a soup kitchen, catch a comedy show, walk around at a street fair, just do something. Every city has a website to help you find activities whether it is during the day or night, so take advantage! If you live outside of a major city, then a short road trip into town for something fun is also a great plan because you have the time to talk on your way to the city. Don’t forget to check the websites that offer low-cost, last-minute tickets to events in your area.
Just because it may not be something you would “normally” do, try it out anyway. When both people on a date get out of their comfort zones it lends the opportunity for bonding and really, isn’t that the whole point of a first date?