cyber attack 311 R.
(photo credit: REUTERS)
Iquickly took notice when it was reported that someone, possibly Saudi computer
geeks, had broken in to the Israeli banking system to steal Israeli credit card
Deputy Foreign Minister Danny Ayalon (he’s the smart one) vowed
to avenge the “terrorist act” by “Saudi terrorists.” Ayalon may have exaggerated
the extent of the theft, though. Chances are the majority of the stolen credit
cards belong to “Israelis” who are actually living in the United
But knowing how tough the Israelis are on violence, and on Arab
members of the Knesset who think they have free speech without consequences, I
fully expected Israel to launch an retaliatory cyber-strike against the
So did the Saudis; they quickly announced that due to fears
Israel would to act on its threats, planned reforms giving women the right to
vote were being suspended.
I think one of the Saudi Sheiks huffed at
Ayalon’s threats, declaring, “We don’t need credit cards.
Why would we
steal them when we own everything already?” Iran’s mercurial President Mahmoud
Ahmadinejad didn’t want to miss an opportunity to jump into the pool of another
international incident. He issued a fatwa declaring Israel and the Saudis “Great
Satans” because apparently, in Iran, the only people who have credit cards are
the infidels and wealthy mullahs who wear religious garb in public but are the
first in the line at Dubai’s international airport changing rooms to shed their
veils and their holier-than-thou attitudes.
Feeling left out of the
international crisis (again) Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas
announced that one of the credit card numbers stolen was actually his. He hinted
through advisors that he suspected the cyber-theft was actually an Israeli
“inside job” aimed at covering up the poisoning of the late PLO chairman Yasser
Hamas chief Ismail Haniyeh, not wanting Abbas to one-up him on
leadership, was quick to respond to a question about the credit card crisis from
burka-clad and nikab-veiled Arab journalists in the Gaza Strip.
refuse to renounce our refusal to recognize the Zionist entity, compromise on
land or give up on our demand for control of al-Quds – not the newspaper, of
course, I’m talking about the city!” Ayalon’s threats should not be taken
lightly, though. It’s very possible that the Mossad will organize a hit squad
made up of their top agents. I imagine they’ll all be dressed to the nines in
Prada, carrying Louis Vuitton purses, with dresses by Donatella Versace and
ruby-red lipstick named after Ehud Barak.
I always wondered after Barak
led that assault on Beirut so many years ago why he didn’t do a Paul Newman.
Newman launched a very successful salad dressing brand. Barak could have
launched a whole clothing line and put new meaning behind the phrase “dressed to
When they go to purchase the disguises for the Mossad hit squad,
there is a slim possibility their credit cards will be declined.
This credit card war could cause a major international scandal.
course, there is a silver lining in all of this.
When we have our
international leaders screaming about credit cards and cyber-war, that means
they’re not firing real weapons at each other.
In the Middle East, that
could be a good thing.
The writer is an award winning columnist and radio
talk show host. He can be reached at www.RadioChicagoland.com