Lessons from an open mic (night)


I learned very quickly that while Bar Ilan University may be a bastion for Anglos who have recently made Aliyah it was hardly a bastion for normalcy. This was never more apparent than at the Bar Ilan English Speaking Communities’ annual Open Mic Night.

I went in with the highest of hopes to find someone talented in either stand-up comedy or singing prowess.
The first participant asked the crowd if we like magic tricks. Having had a pair of fake handcuffs as a kid and GOB Bluth as a hero led me to answer emphatically “yes”. “Well if you love magic tricks,” the budding Houdini replied, “you will love my math tricks.” Wait, what?
He then proceeded to hold up advanced trigonometry problems on sheets of paper and solve them out loud (at least I think he solved them, who the heck knows advanced trig off the top of their heads?!).  
I sat through the entire performance waiting for a punch line that never came. Was this a hoax? Where were the hidden cameras and Ashton Kutcher?
Next came a 26 year old adult male who announced he would be playing Britney’s Spears’ ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’ on the guitar while another grown man would act it out behind him. “They wouldn’t,” I assured myself.  They did and it was horrifying.
To close, a girl took the stage and declared she would act out her part from a musical she performed in while in the 6th grade. “Good shtick,” I thought to myself, “I like when people are ironical”. Singing and interpretative dance made strong appearances thereafter but the irony never came. It must have walked in, saw her writhing across the room while singing in a falsetto that made Freddy Mercury’s grandchildren cry, and decided to go home. Lucky guy.
I learned a very important lesson that night. People who are not used to being in the limelight, when presented with a functional microphone and an audience, have little restraint and just might do or say anything. You will find this person at his or her most uninhibited, genuine self. Apparently an open mic and an open soul go hand in hand. In these moments, we have to take what comes out of each of their mouths as representative of their true, innermost feelings.
Last week I learned that the converse is true, as well. People who are always in the spotlight, every word scrutinized to no end, and always in front of a crowd will only express their true selves when they think the microphones are off.
Last Monday, prior to attending a global nuclear security summit in South Korea, Present Barak Obama shared some private words with outgoing Russian President Dmitry Medvedev. The only trouble was that the conversation was anything but private.
Obama was caught assuring Medvedev that if Moscow would just give him some “space” he will have more leeway to deal with contentious issues after the US presidential election. He explained, “This is my last election... After my election I have more flexibility.” Specifically, this was in reference to Russia’s complaints regarding American missile defense.  This obvious attempt to fool the American people is worrying in and of itself, but it is not the first time we were granted a sneak-peak into the President’s troubling psyche.
Last November Obama was exposed yet again for his double-speak. At last year’s G-20 summit French President Nicholas Sarkozy whined to Obama that he “cannot stand [Bibi Netanyahu], he’s a liar.” Obama wasted no time in replying, firing back, “You’re fed up with him, but I have to deal with him every day.” This, despite the President assuring the American people day-in and day-out  that America’s relationship with Israel had never been stronger.
It doesn’t take Slim Shady to see that the real Barak Obama has just stood up.
Thinking the microphones and cameras were off, Obama put away the pandering and exposed the true reckless liberal that hides behind his (apparently esoteric) teleprompter-aided mumbo-jumbo.
If you are at all concerned with the safety of the free world, how in good conscience, can you vote for a man so duplicitous and free-wheeling with our international security?
If you are a lover of Israel how can you vote for a man so clearly disgusted with our leader, who enjoys relatively widespread support in Israel (and both aisles of the US Congress for that matter)?
Unless you are a mindless liberal drone you must come to the realization that Barak Obama will stop at nothing to advance his perilous hippie drum circle socialist utopia, if we would only give him enough “space” until after the election.
Thus, the only solution is to make sure he is not given that “flexibility”. We cannot re-elect a Barak Obama who is not accountable to the people.  We have seen an open mic expose his open soul and it is horrifying.
Come on people, this isn’t advanced trigonometry!