Jerusalemites: Mitch's story

Mitch prefers speaking in Hebrew. I did my best to find out who he is.
His story goes as follows...

“I made aliyah from Chicago in late 2006, and after being repeatedly ignored/rejected by the Lishkat Gius (army enlistment office) of Be'er Sheva (for being too old!), I was finally able to volunteer for a two-year stint with Tsahal (the IDF). I had the honor of serving in Golani Gdud 12, starting March '08. I had the further honor of fighting as point Negevist for my platoon in Cast Lead. After the army, I made the unfortunate decision to return to Babylon to work in my undergrad field (biochem). Indeed I found work, along with a shell of an existence as a wage slave in a materialist society which worships pop-culture and a fiat currency, and sacrifices its population (comprised almost entirely of brainwashed people, hypnotized by mainstream media and scared to death by any notion of betraying their globalist overlords) by way of toxic "food", pharmaceuticals, contaminated water, geoengineering, etc. After starting a Master's in Chinese medicine,  I experienced a series of events which abruptly and judiciously reminded me of just how far I was from home. I made re-aliyah in December. Now I have the honor of falling into the hands of great teachers and I am on my way to becoming, Bezrat H', Ba'al Tefila (it turns out the Chinese got their wisdom from us anyway). As the story goes…

I have to run for now, Karolina, but if you want, give me a chance to get to a computer and I will paraphrase the legend for you in English, too!  :)"