It’s midnight, and I don’t know who to call.
The current reports say that there are three victims confirmed dead, with at least six more injured.
After yet another gruesome terrorist attack, I wonder what I’m supposed to do now. How I’m supposed to feel. Do I let the numbness overcome me yet again?
This one happened in Sarona Marketplace, right in the center of Tel Aviv. Sarona, where I sat at the Beer Garden for afternoon beers with my friends a few weeks ago. Sarona, which is host to Biga, the great dairy restaurant where I’ve had delicious lunches, and my close friend now works. Sarona, where tourists and Israelis alike, love to eat, drink, shop and absorb the reclusive, subdued environment, right in the middle of Tel Aviv’s beating heart. But how many hearts will not be beating at the end of the night?
I don’t know who to call. Who to text. I know so many people who live in Tel Aviv and the surrounding areas. Most of whom I’m sure have recently been at Sarona, and were potentially there tonight. This is one of the costs of living here. A terrorist attack doesn’t just occur in the news. It endangers your loved ones. I hope they’re all okay.
But isn’t that selfish? How callous is it to pray that it was somebody else’s friend or sibling who was shot in cold blood tonight? Yet, at the same time, so many of us do it.
Don’t worry, we all pray for the good of the nation and the speedy recovery of the wounded, and try to feel the pain of all those suffering. We tell ourselves that we are good people with good intentions. And, I truly believe that we are. But how does that fit with praying that it wasn’t MY close one?
There are obvious answers, but I don’t find them to be satiating. At least not now.
I think yet again of who I should contact. But there are too many. This one, like so many others, took place in such a public place, on such a regular night. Anybody could have been there. There’s no Facebook event with “attendings” letting me know who was caught in the line of fire. There’s just suspense.
I pray for the days when nobody’s loved ones are murdered in cold blood. The days when shopping, eating, drinking and living our daily lives won’t end in blood.