Margie and Hayyim agree on two things: You’re never too old to fall in love, and there’s more than one reason to go to shul.
Rabbi Hayyim Halpern was born in 1930. Margie Tutnauer was born in 1938. When they connected in the fall of 2023, Hayyim was a widower; his wife, Sara Reinharth, had died in 2021.
Margie was also widowed; her husband, Rabbi Moshe Tutnauer, died in 2010. Hayyim and Sara had been married for 69 years; Margie and Moshe for 53.
Hayyim and Moshe had been rabbinical colleagues, and over the years, Hayyim and Margie encountered each other at various rabbinical events. As Margie wryly describes her role at the time: “I was then ‘the wife of.”’
On Rosh Hashanah 2023, Hayyim and Margie were seated in the same section of the Ramot Zion Synagogue in Jerusalem’s French Hill neighborhood.
“I was upset with some young people who were making noise during the service,” recalls Hayyim. Margie came to their defense: “I’m just happy that they’re here with us in the synagogue today.”
That brief exchange sparked a new relationship between Hayyim and Margie, and they began connecting as widow and widower.
Margie lives in French Hill and has been an active member of Ramot Zion for over 40 years, attending Shabbat services regularly. Hayyim began attending Ramot Zion in 2023 after moving into Golden Hill, the assisted living facility in French Hill.
“It was a logical choice,” Hayyim explains. “I’m a Conservative rabbi, and Ramot Zion is a Masorti [Conservative] congregation within walking distance of Golden Hill.”
Soon after Rosh Hashanah, Margie began dropping off reading materials for Hayyim.
“I wanted to call her to thank her,” Hayyim says. “And she made it easy. She left her name, address, and phone number with the front desk. I began to get the impression that this woman was interested in me, and I was very flattered.”
Margie smiles as she recalls her approach.
“After I became a widow in 2010, my friend Benita gave me some good advice. She encouraged me to be proactive and to start dating. Over the years, I met many interesting men. But Hayyim is the best man I’ve met in the past 15 years.”
Hayyim is vocal in his praise of Margie: “Margie has a wonderful smile. She loves to be with people.”
Their relationship soon settled into a comfortable rhythm. They began sitting together at kiddush after Shabbat services, and Hayyim would walk Margie home.
“At one point,” Margie recalls, “after Hayyim had walked me home, I asked him if he’d like to have lunch with me. He did, and of course, I had already thought it through and had lunch ready.”
That became their regular routine: kiddush at Ramot Zion, followed by a walk to Margie’s home for Shabbat lunch. It’s a straight walk that takes them about 30 minutes, including the time they rest on benches along the way.
Spending time with eachother during the week
During the week, they also keep a steady rhythm. While they enjoy life together and spend time with each other’s families, they maintain some independent connections.
Hayyim gives an example: “Most Tuesdays, Margie joins the morning minyan at Ramot Zion, has coffee with friends from the shul, and then comes to my apartment, where we watch movies. We both love old films like Dr. Zhivago and Gone with the Wind.”
He has advice for other couples. “If you don’t agree politically, just don’t talk politics. That’s what works for Margie and me.”
Margie adds, “If we have medical problems, we don’t turn to each other. We turn to our family. And in general, our family comes first.”
Margie is blessed with two sons living in Israel, six grandchildren, and seven great-grandchildren. Hayyim has three daughters, eight grandchildren, and six great-grandchildren.
One of his daughters, Alita, lives in Jerusalem and is a member of Ramot Zion.
Margie was born in Detroit to the Weingarden family, who had lived there for four generations. She met Moshe Tutnauer when they were working at Camp Ramah in Wisconsin.
Moshe made aliyah in 1972 from Phoenix, Arizona.
Hayyim and Sara made aliyah in 1992. Before moving to Israel, Hayyim served for more than 25 years as rabbi of the Beth Tikvah Synagogue in New Milford, New Jersey.
He is a graduate of the Jewish Theological Seminary and author of Torah Dialogues, a book based on discussions with his congregants.
Hayyim and Margie are “ringed” to each other – connected by rings that symbolize their comOver the years, many of their Ramah friends made aliyah and settled in French Hill. Margie and commitment to each other. Margie wears Hayyim’s college ring; Hayyim wears a ring that once belonged to Margie’s grandfather.
What advice do Margie and Hayyim have for singles of all ages?
Go to shul.