Among the many unsung heroes in post-October 7 Israel are the wives and partners of Israel’s reserve soldiers. When their husbands were pulled from daily life and sent to war, these women were left to shoulder the burden—raising children, managing households, and holding everything together, often with little support. They have become solo parents, financial providers, and emotional anchors, all while living with the gnawing uncertainty of when—or if—their loved ones will return.
In the war’s early months, Israeli society rallied around them. Organizations, municipalities, and the military stepped up with financial aid, childcare, and emotional support. But as time dragged on, that wave of goodwill receded. While some incredible initiatives remain and organizations continue working behind the scenes to lighten the load of these brave women, many reservist wives feel they have faded from public awareness—just as their struggles have intensified.
Since October 7, over 300,000 reservists have been called up, 82% of them men. Over half are over 30, most with families. Today, the number of active reservists serving fluctuates with the situation on the ground. For their families left behind, the war hasn’t paused.
Recently, in the peaceful gardens of Yellin House heritage site near Jerusalem, a group of reservist wives gathered for a watercolor workshop led by New Jersey Artist and Philanthropist, Barbara Bortniker. Made possible by Jewish National Fund-USA and organized through the organization SPIHS, which preserves Israel’s modern heritage sites, this ongoing Resilience Program served as welcome relief.
Since the war began, the program has supported evacuees, border communities, and soldiers, recently expanding to include reservists’ partners, wounded soldiers, war widows, and Nova survivors. The workshop was one of five held earlier in the year to mark Women’s Month. Others continue almost daily in emergency centers, at heritage sites, and in returning communities as part of the Resilience Program.
In the cool shade of the trees, as they painted and bonded with women who understood their reality, the participants opened up about the weight of the war.
Adar*, a mother of three, shared that her husband has been serving as a combat soldier since the war began. Both have lost their jobs due to his prolonged absence.
“It’s tough, but we’re managing,” she said. “We believe in what he’s doing. But let’s not kid ourselves—there are real hardships along the way.”
Beyond worrying about her husband’s safety, Adar struggles with the everyday reality of his absence. “Family roles have completely shifted,” she explained. “I’m both mom and dad now. And when he does come home, it feels like he’s a guest. We’ve built a routine without him.”
She worries about the long-term effects. “What will this mean for our family? For him, after so many months in combat?”
Drained from endless responsibilities, Adar sees these workshops as essential. “They’re a godsend. Being with women who understand makes all the difference,” she said. “Thank you to those who still see us—the wives of reservists and the fallen. Support is fading, but we need it more than ever. This war will leave lasting scars on all of us.”
Aliza*, one of three young mothers who brought their babies to the workshop, echoed that sentiment. Support, she said, is dwindling.
She recalled a conversation with her former boss. When she asked to leave early for important errands before giving birth, he granted her request grudgingly, adding, "You can’t use the war as an excuse for much longer.”
“People think that because there are fewer rocket attacks, the war is over,” she said. “But my reality hasn’t changed since October 8, 2023—if anything, it’s harder. My husband is still gone. My kids are still in a single-parent household. The only difference is that I went through my entire third pregnancy alone. And now, my baby is growing up without her father.”
Still, Aliza doesn’t blame her boss. “People are exhausted. The country is war-weary. It’s easier to pretend everything is back to normal.”
But for the families of reservists, normal is still a distant dream. They carry the unseen weight of this war—the absences, the anxiety, the exhaustion. And while the battle may be fought on the front lines, it is also fought in homes across the country, in the quiet resilience of the women left behind.
She expressed gratitude to SPIHS and Jewish National Fund-USA for their ongoing efforts. “Acknowledgment matters. Just knowing people see us and that they understand this war is still very real for hundreds of thousands of families—that makes all the difference.”
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*The names of the women are being kept anonymous to protect the identities of their husbands.
The following article was written in collaboration with JNF-USA