She’s petite, a fireball, full of chutzpah and could be anyone’s grandma. And she’s probably not the first person who comes to mind when you think of someone dispensing advice about sex. But for more than 30 years, Dr. Ruth has been doing just that in a variety of ways, from hosting a radio show to TV appearances and authoring books.After becoming a household name in the 1980s and working to get information about sexuality out in the open, 85-year-old Dr. Ruth Westheimer has helped to articulate the dialogue surrounding sex and to normalize words that used to be reserved for the bedroom. And it doesn’t look as if she will be retiring anytime soon.Speaking to a sold-out audience last week in Tel Aviv, Westheimer, who is an avid Zionist and Israel supporter, has been busy fitting in multiple engagements on her most recent trip here. With a jam-packed schedule, she helped celebrate President Shimon Peres’s birthday last week, spoke alongside heads of state at the Presidential Conference in Jerusalem and received a pin of honor from the Hagana for her service as a trained sniper in 1948.The event in the Jaffa Port, held at the Nalaga’at Center theater company and hosted by the Tel Aviv International Salon, was attended by a largely English-speaking female audience from a wide spectrum of religious observance. After speaking about her background, which included being orphaned at age 10 during World War II and narrowly avoiding the Holocaust, she answered questions from the audience about sex.“I have a lot of chutzpah and had the nerve to talk about things that other people may not have talked about,” she said, explaining how her radio show impacted her life and how she viewed her work.Breaking into the field of sex therapy in New York, she started out at Planned Parenthood, where she found herself talking a lot about sex. She went on to earn a degree from Columbia University and later hosted a radio show called Sexually Speaking on WYNY.Keeping the evening mostly on a light note, she talked about scientific research, sex and Judaism and challenged everyone (with the caveat that if they had a partner) to “go home tonight and try a different position.”She made it clear that while she talked openly and frankly about sex, she really was “old fashioned and discreet,” referring several times to the importance of a good sex life for those who are in relationships, and not just a one-night stand.“In Judaism, sex has never been a sin,” she said, explaining that on Friday nights it’s a mitzva, and going on to discuss areas in the Midrash about sex and its importance in Judaism between a married couple.Chock full of jokes and laughter, Dr. Ruth fielded questions, giving the audience a glimpse into her life, which has taken her across the globe to study in France and then to settle in New York.Steering clear of sensitive topics such as homosexuality, Dr. Ruth kept to her fairly traditional dialogue about sex and stuck to the importance of keeping it exciting with one’s partner. When asked about the recent launch of Playboy Israel, she said it was still very new but that she was all for organizations for free speech and added that she was good friends with Hugh Hefner – and noted that she had never gone to bed with him.Westheimer also spoke about the changing technological world and how being constantly connected was impacting today’s relationships, specifically intimate ones. She made this point while people in the audience were updating Facebook and texting on their phones. So far, Westheimer seems to be keeping up with her fans in the changing technological world: She has almost 76,000 Twitter followers and has hilarious material in her daily tweets.While she said that sexuality has not changed since she first started working in the field, the way people talk about it has. “People are asking questions with explicit terminology. Questions here or in the US include terms like ‘multiple orgasms,’” she said.Still running a private practice in New York, she said that other aspects that have changed since she started out is women’s waiting longer to settle down.“There has to be some kind of compromise,” she said, explaining that some of the biggest challenges in today’s relationships were “boredom and expecting Prince Charming to ride into your living room on a white horse. I’m not saying to take the first person to come your way,” but she pointed out that compromise was the key for women, especially for those whose biological clocks are ticking.While part of her popularity lies in having a nice Jewish grandmother talk frankly about sexual arousal and satisfaction, Dr. Ruth has the charisma to talk about sex and keep people of all generations engaged in a hot topic that will never cool down.
