“I think a lot of people get so obsessed with the wedding and the expenses of the wedding that they miss out on what the real purpose is. It’s not about a production number, it’s about a meaningful moment between two people that’s witnessed by people that they actually really know and care about.” –Jane Seymour
Each partner in a marriage needs to treat the other with respect, especially when it comes to money issues. I once wrote about a meeting I had with newlyweds, and the conversation has been something I never forgot. “A few months ago I spoke with a husband who came from an extremely wealthy family. His wife did not. She wanted to take a course in graphic design, and when she asked her husband for a check, he said that he was writing down the cost of the course and it would be considered a loan! She would need to pay him back for the course. I told him that I thought that was a terrible idea, and that having his wife ‘owe’ him money was a recipe for disaster.”
I think it’s okay for one of them to take a more day to day role dealing with the finances but they should both be in the loop when it comes to financial decisions and both should know about all bank and investment accounts.
Here are a few tips to help any new couple start off their married life on solid financial footing.
Make a list of all income, assets, and debts – including credit cards and loans that you each bring into the marriage.
Get all your accounts updated, especially if there is a name change involved. Don’t wait until you are about to make a trip and then have to scramble to change the name on your passport. Same goes for adding names to bank accounts, changing names on credit cards, driver’s license and with the National Insurance Institute. You will also need to name your spouse as a beneficiary on certain investment accounts.
Start keeping track of all money spent and earned. When two people who have been living independently suddenly become one unit, spending can spin out of control as each spouse continues to spend on what they are used to, blind to their new reality. In many cases certain expenses will shrink as spending for two individuals is more costly than expenses for a married couple. Make sure that monthly and annual expenses do not exceed income to avoid getting into an overdraft situation.
This is a golden opportunity for the newlyweds to start off their marriage by living within their means. If good financial habits are reinforced at an early stage, they are much more likely to become habitual and the couple will live in a financially responsible manner, and avoid the pitfalls of financial mismanagement that plague so much of society.
As soon as possible, a new couple should start a disciplined monthly/annual savings plan. It is a good idea to use some of the wedding money for this purpose. Many couples receive a substantial amount of money as wedding gifts, and investing this money wisely can help them get on the path to financial security. If a couple starts saving immediately, it makes future expenses much easier to deal with.
Mazel tov Tamar and Dani!