Shavuot: Focus on your own happiness - opinion

The holiday of Shavuot is fast approaching, and while some of us prefer a meat-fest many people are focused on what to serve for their customary dairy meal. While everyone has their favorite cheesecake recipe, let’s not lose sight of the real reason for the holiday. While there is an important agricultural aspect to the holiday, i.e. bring the Omer offering, the main reason given is that we are celebrating the Jew’s receiving the Torah on Mt. Sinai. While lasagna and blueberry cheesecake are an important material aspect of the holiday, on a spiritual level it’s the reading of the 10 commandments that takes front and center.

The 10th commandment is Lo Tachmod: do not covet. The Torah begins by warning against coveting someone else’s home. (Lo Tachmod beit rei’echa). It goes on and prohibits desiring another’s wife, servants, ox and donkey. As I have mentioned before, in explanation of this rather odd formulation, Rabbi Zev Leff, suggests that the root of coveting another’s assets is a lack of satisfaction with one’s own lot in life. “If only I were that other person,” reasons the coveter, “I would have happiness!” Hence, all of that person’s relationships and assets are equated since the coveter wants to be that person rather than desiring a specific one of his items. Perhaps this is the reason that the Torah begins by warning against coveting another’s house followed by a second warning concerning specific items: “it is the desire to be another person in general – to have his household - that leads to coveting his specific possessions.”

I truly believe that society’s fixation with social media is completely wound up in our desire to be happy like someone else. We see all their pictures posted on Facebook or Instagram and think that they are really living the good life. “Why can’t we be like the Smith’s? They are always having so much family fun. They travel, eat at the best restaurants and seem to have the perfect life.” When you are actually good friends with someone (not generic Facebook friends) you often see that the way their life is portrayed through pictures is not what is really going on. It’s just not reality. They may be having financial, marital, health and a host of other issues.

The 10th commandment teaches us not to try and “Keep up with the Joneses.” A couple of weeks ago I got a call from clients who split their time between the US and Israel, and were looking to buy a new home in the US. I asked the price and it turns out they were taking on a mortgage of over $1.25 million dollars! Their income was very good after creating a home business during Corona, but 9 months previous to our call they were both unemployed and had accumulated $50,000 of debt. I strongly suggested waiting and building up savings and then in a year or two they can buy with a much smaller mortgage. The answer I got was that all their friends were buying and even if they can’t afford it everything will somehow work out.

Forget about everyone else and try to fulfill your own financial potential. Live within your means. That doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy life and spend money on a vacation; just make sure that it’s accounted for.

How? Make a budget. I can’t stress enough the importance of taking control over your spending. Only by tracking income and expenses can you start a realistic savings plan and start building wealth.

Then start saving. You need to start investing and with discipline, the wonders of compound interest and the growth of the stock market, over time you will create a comfortable nest egg.

It is of utmost importance to maximize your retirement account contributions. There is no better investment than a tax deferred investment. Make sure you are maximizing contributions to your Keren Hishtalmut and Kupot Gemmel. Keep the money invested and you will be shocked at how much money you can accumulate over the long-term.

Forget about everyone else and focus on implementing these steps to get on solid financial footing.

Now back to the cheesecake. Chag Sameach!