Why quarantine is the perfect time to find your soulmate

We need any good news we can get, and I have some that might be unexpected: This is the perfect time to find your soulmate.

By BEN RABIZADEH
JWed (photo credit: JWED)
JWed
(photo credit: JWED)
Coronavirus continues to wreak havoc on our world, spreading tragedy, fear and hardship. We need any good news we can get, and I have some that might be unexpected: This is the perfect time to find your soulmate.
Hear me out.
During my 18 years of helping thousands of Jewish couples unite in marriage via JWed, I’ve studied the environment in which a lasting relationship can develop. While quarantine may be pushing the limits of your wallet and your sanity, it creates the ideal conditions for building a new, meaningful relationship.
Not being able to meet in person means no distracting serial dating. You might be more available – and so might a potential partner. Take a moment to focus on making your move in a deeper way. Instead of swiping, speak. Instead of clicking, court. Instead of tapping, think.
Slowing down provides an opportunity for daters to define exactly what they are looking for in a partner. Many matches between well-meaning people fall through because one or both parties is not clear on what criteria distinguish an engaging companion from a potential life partner.
Plus, maybe your priorities have shifted. Whether COVID-19 has left you with time on your hands or given you more to do than ever, a global pandemic is a serious matter. Perhaps your newfound focus will enable you to better zero in on what truly matters. Sit down with yourself and ask some probing questions. Examine which values determine your choices and actions. Then, craft a dating profile that represents you at your best and clearly conveys who you are to potential matches. 
Those matches could be anywhere. Enforced virtual dating diminishes the significance of location, helping daters narrow their choices based on compatibility of personality and values rather than geographic distance. That’s a good thing.
Also, while some people used to avoid long-distance dating, now, with all dates alike on the computer, they may be more open-minded, leveling the playing field for daters with limited local options. I predict a swell in long-distance matches, and JWed’s sophisticated location graph – where users can specify where they were born, grew up, often visit, and want to live – can help facilitate these matches.
And because virtual dating is cheaper, singles are more open to taking chances. The average in-person date costs more than $100. Together with travel time – even just to and from a restaurant – that entails a hefty commitment to a near-stranger. To prepare for a video date, though, all you need to do is get dress nicely and sit down in front of your computer with a latte. With the stakes lowered, daters may be willing to give a shot to people they would not have otherwise considered.
When likely candidates do connect, they can freely invest in building a relationship. Get ready to sit back and enjoy connecting to your date through witty banter and stimulating conversation, minus the clinking forks and distracting background hubbub. You may be pleasantly surprised at how quickly and deeply the relationship develops. And dating from your respective homes doesn’t mean you can’t do anything fun together. When you’re ready to get creative, you can spice up the meetings with a virtual board game or puzzle, an online class, or an art project.
I began developing JWed’s new virtual dating features, which include a video chat option, back in mid-January. Given my medical background, I sensed that what was happening was serious, and wanted to empower daters to connect with their soulmates during a possible quarantine. I am gratified that the tools we prepared are now being used to provide a smooth, natural dating experience during these unprecedented times.
We don’t know when and how life will return to what we consider normal. But we can seek out the silver linings – and I think the opportunity to find your soulmate is one of them.
The writer is the CEO of JWed, the leading online dating service for authentically Jewish singles seeking meaningful, committed relationships.


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