Tu Be’av: The holiday of ‘like’?

In the age of Facebook, the 15th of Av may have a new meaning.

By YONATAN SREDNI
facebook logo300 (photo credit: REUTERS)
facebook logo300
(photo credit: REUTERS)
The Beatles may have sung ‘All You Need Is Love,' but the most common form of positive reinforcement in the 'age of Facebook’ comes from Facebook itself, in the form of a ‘like.’
The ‘like’ option – whose logo is a ‘thumbs up’ sign – allows users to provide positive feedback on the stories that appear in a friend's news feed without needing to add actual commentary.
Post a link to an article about presidential candidate Mitt Romney visiting Israel last weekend declaring Jerusalem to be Israel’s capital and you are sure to get a couple of ‘likes.’ Post a cute photo of your kids eating ice cream and you will get dozens of ‘likes.’ Competitions abound on Facebook to see who can get the most ‘likes’ for a particular posting, cause, or event. The term has even pervaded the everyday conversation of today’s youth. I recently overheard my teenage nieces discussing the latest Justin Bieber single. One told the other she had just downloaded it, to which her sister emphatically replied: “like!”
This Friday is Tu Be'av, more commonly known in Hebrew as ‘Chag Ha’ahava’ (the holiday of love). Although Israeli stores might market the 15th of Av as a Jewish Valentine’s Day, historically it wasn’t meant to be that way.
Indeed, The Talmud states that “there were no holy days as happy for the Jews as Tu Be'av and Yom Kippur, for on these days unmarried girls would dress in simple white clothing (so that rich could not be distinguished from poor), and go out to sing and dance in the vineyards surrounding Jerusalem.” The eligible bachelors would then choose wives from among those who danced. Hence, Tu Be'av became an auspicious day for matchmaking and weddings.
Various other reasons for celebrating on Tu Be'av are cited by the Talmud and by Talmudic commentators. While the Jews wandered in the desert for forty years, female orphans without brothers could only marry within their tribe, to prevent their father's inherited land in the Land of Israel from passing on to other tribes. On the fifteenth of Av of the fortieth year, this ban was lifted. Also on Tu Be'av, the Tribe of Benjamin, who was denied brides by the other tribes because of their heinous assaults on a concubine at Gibeah (as described in The Book of Judges), was allowed to intermarry with the other tribes. Tu B’Av also commemorates Hoshea ben Elah removing the roadblocks which were erected by Yeravam ben Nevat to prevent the Jews from going up to the Temple in Jerusalem for the pilgrimage festivals.
But to quote Tina Turner, "What's love got to do with it?" What do all these events have in common?
The love we are talking about is not the love of one for a spouse or a boyfriend/ girlfriend. That is a personal type of love. Tu Be'av is more global than that.The members of the tribe of Benjamin were outcasts after the incident with the Concubine of Gibeah; on Tu Be'av they were brought back into the fold. The same sort of feeling must have been felt by the generation of the desert when their ban was lifted. The girls who danced in the vineyards all wore the same clothing (tilboshet achida, standard uniform) in order not to shame those who had less. All these events brought estranged parties together again; ‘roadblocks’— whether actual or emotional – were removed, creating a sense of unity.
We all know that the Second Temple was destroyed on the Ninth of Av due to "sinat chinam" (baseless hatred), and just six days later on the calendar comes Tu Be'av, a holiday signifying "ahavat chinam" (unlimited love).
But if Tu Be'av becomes a holiday simply to express one's love for your "significant other," then we are missing the point.
Tu Be'av should be about making others significant. Instead of just showing how much you appreciate your best guy or gal, why not show a little kindness to a stranger? Say ‘good morning’ to that neighbor in the elevator, smile at the cashier in the supermarket, strike up a conversation with that co-worker you rarely talk to. Maybe even post a ‘like’ to a Facebook friend you are rarely in contact with, just to show you care – no commentary required.
So, instead of the horrible random acts of violence we have read about recently in the news, why not attempt some random acts of kindness on Tu Be'av?
True, we may not be able to ‘love’ everyone, but at the very least we can offer a ‘like’.
The writer has an MA in Creative Writing from Bar-Ilan University.