Israel needs a better crossing-guard

There are many areas of concern in making aliyah. I never dreamed being a pedestrian would be one of them. Let me be very clear: ZIONISTS WHO LOVE TO WALK BEWARE.

 

I learned this sobering lesson a few days ago on a morning stroll. Like the good boy I was brought up to be, I approached a crosswalk and looked both ways before entering the street. Once I was halfway across the road I noticed an approaching car, who no doubt saw me mid-crossing, begin to accelerate, then slam on his brakes just in time to not knee-cap me. I gazed towards him and was shocked to receive a classic American “I’m sorry wave”.

 

Naturally shaken by my previous encounter, I waited for the nearest car to drive through before venturing across my next intersection. Instead, this driver stopped the car, thought about letting me cross ahead of him, suddenly thought better of it, gifted me with a look of disgust and a lot of angry hand gestures, and drove across the road before I had the chance to set foot in the street .

 

I am sure Israelis have it wrong when it comes to social edict and decency but perhaps they have it right on a larger scale.

 

On Saturday, Prime Minister Netanyahu “lauded” President Obama’s nomination of John Kerry as the next Secretary of State.

 

First the venting: President Obama has YET AGAIN chosen politics over practicality, selecting a career (failed) Democrat despite better candidates being available… John Bolton being just one name that comes to mind.

 

Kerry is a loser and everybody knows it. Even outgoing Secretary of State Hillary Clinton acknowledged it in her congratulations to Mr. Kerry. Hillary’s "statement…referenced their shared experience as unsuccessful presidential candidates." The esteemed Madame Secretary expounded, “as I have learned, being able to talk candidly as someone who [lost elections] is an enormous asset when engaging with emerging or fragile democracies.” Aside from the fact that if Kerry is to be dealing with either the PA or Hamas THERE ARE NO "emerging or fragile democracies” to be dealt with, Mrs. Clinton more or less declares Kerry worthy of the job because he’s a loser. How’s that for qualifications?

 

Additionally, it’s nice that the spokeswoman for Americans for Peace Now welcomed Kerry’s nomination (shocking!) but it should be far more concerning that Morrie Amitay, a former executive director of AIPAC responded “I would not list [Kerry] among the more enthusiastic supporters [of Israel].”

 

Then there is the Wikileakes incident. It was recently revealed in an exposed Wikileak document that Kerry “told Qatari leaders that the Golan Heights should be returned to Syria”. Forget that any layman who has visited the Golan Heights and saw its strategic military importance and value, something that John Kerry has himself done, could tell you that handing it back to Syria would be the end of Israel. What about the facts on the ground today that prove that Assad and the rest of “Syria on Fire” wouldn’t be able to manage Washington Heights let alone the Golan Heights?!

 

No matter, I am sure the Palestinians are thrilled with the nomination after doing some simple math. Kerry’s wife, Teresa Heinz, has family ties to the Heinz ketchup fortune. I have no doubt that all of the modern-day Palestinian Goebbels are chomping at the bit to get their hands on some US State Department subsidized fake blood to feed “gruesome and gut-wrenching” photos and videos to Reuters, BBC and the New York Times the next time Israel “aggresses”.

 

Despite all of these discouraging factoids and although I am getting sick and tired of nearly every Israeli politician eventually truckling to the demands of every US President since 1948 I do have to say that:

 

A. Bibi has been more steadfast against US policy that is detrimental to Israel than any other Prime Minister in recent memory.

 

B. The State Department will most likely, always, for whatever reason, remain the United States governments’ most anti-Zionist body.

 

C. I do understand that if it has already been decided that John Kerry will be the next Secretary of State it is in Bibi’s, and Israel’s, best interest to start off on a good foot.

 

However, I do wish an Israeli parliamentarian of status would one day act less like an Israeli politician and more like an Israeli driver.

 

I understand Bibi acting like the first driver who almost rendered me Dr.-House-like. Kerry, like me, was already in the middle of the road (physically not politically of course), so instead of making a big commotion over an inevitability, they both decided to move on with their day.

 

I just wish that one day an Israeli leader will be strong enough to act like that absolutely obnoxious and absurd second driver, who wanted it to be very clear that he did not want me crossing that road unless he felt like it.

 

In America, everyone is expected to obey the red/green crosswalk man like a semi-g-d.

 

In Israel, they use school children armed with stop signs on wooden sticks to serve as crossing guards for other school children.

 

Oddly enough the red/green man is usually considered a laughingstock (please see NYC for details) while the underage crossing-guard is usually respected.

 

Obama selected yet another red/green crosswalk man and there was nothing Israel could have done about that. However, it would be nice to one day see the leader of the Jewish people have as much courage as the young Israeli school boy in his yellow reflector vest and throw down that wooden stop sign that means “No crossing. No thank you. We will let you know who can cross and when.”

 

Until then we all remain stuck at the ever-present crossroads.