How to Make the New Year Happier

At a time when Israelis are protesting the high cost of living, perhaps each of us should audit what we spend in light of these five happiness rules.

By SHLOMO MAITAL
DO NOT USE - JER REPORT IMAGE (photo credit: AVI KATZ)
DO NOT USE - JER REPORT IMAGE
(photo credit: AVI KATZ)
AS THE JEWISH WORLD GREETS THE NEW YEAR 5772, we wish each other happiness and pray for a good and sweet year. But what is happiness? And are there simple things we all can do that would indeed make the coming year happier?
I found some answers in an empirical study, still unpublished, by three psychologists: Elizabeth W. Dunn (University of British Columbia), Daniel T. Gilbert (Harvard University) and Timothy D. Wilson (University of Virginia).
“The relationship between money and happiness is surprisingly weak,” they note. Their provocative title conveys their main finding: “If money doesn’t make you happy, then you probably aren’t spending it right.” The authors offer rules for increased happiness, based on a survey of a large literature on the link between how we spend our money and how happy we are. What is surprising is that all of the rules are consistent with what is found in the Rosh Hashana mahzor (prayerbook).
1. Help others instead of yourself. Research shows the quality of our social relationships is a strong determinant of our happiness. Those who devote more money to pro-social spending (for others) were happier, other things being equal.
2. Pay now and consume later. There has been a huge shift in societies everywhere toward immediate enjoyment and delayed payment. The result is to rack up debts, while eliminating the pleasure of anticipation – saving up for something while imagining all the while how much we will enjoy it. Re-learning to defer gratification, as untold generations did before the age of the credit card, can greatly improve happiness. Living by values rather than by impulse is largely about deferred gratification.
3. Think about how you want to live, rather than what you want to buy. The authors note that “consumers who expect a single purchase to have a lasting impact on their happiness might make more realistic predictions if they simply thought about a typical day in their life.” I often think about people who buy expensive cars. They lose fortunes as their cars depreciate, but do they really gain vast pleasure in driving it from A to B, compared to those who drive a clunker?
4. Buy experiences instead of things. “People are often happier,” note the authors, “when they spend their money on experiences rather than on things.” An experience is an event you live through, while a good is a tangible object you keep. A sample of over a thousand Americans showed that for every three respondents who reported greater happiness from buying things, five said they derived more happiness from buying experiences. And, of course, some experiences – like a walk on the beach at sunset – are free. You cannot make a 36-inch TV by yourself. But you can create an experience, like visiting a sick or lonely friend, or playing with a grandchild, without putting your hand into your pocket.
5. Have many small pleasures instead of a few big ones. “Happiness is more strongly associated with the frequency… of people’s positive affective experiences,” say the authors, “than with the intensity of those experiences.” Try more double lattés and warm croissants, instead of dream vacations and front-row concert tickets. A happiness score of ‘7’ six times a day beats a happiness score of ‘10’ once a month. And, it turns out, this is directly related to sex. People who have sex are happier than people who don’t – no surprise there, right? But it is surprising that, according to research, the optimal number of sexual partners to have in a 12-month period is one. “Why would people who have one partner be happier than people who have many?” ask the authors. “One reason is that multiple partners are occasionally thrilling, but regular partners are regularly enjoyable. A bi-weekly ride on a merry-go-round may be better than an annual ride on a roller coaster.”
At a time when Israelis are protesting the high cost of living and demanding that government take immediate steps to lower it, perhaps each of us should audit what we spend in light of these happiness rules. Last year, Israelis spent NIS 572 billion ($161 b.) on personal consumption, or nearly 70 percent of the total Gross Domestic Product, NIS 831 b. ($233 b.).
How much of those billions of shekels of spending truly brought us sustained happiness? And how much was simply wasteful, ephemeral, senseless, keep-up-with-the-Cohens, and ultimately achieved the opposite of happiness? How much of our spending was driven by relentless advertising exhorting us to work in jobs we don’t really like to make money so we can roam shopping centers seeking happiness in buying stuff we don’t really need or want?
Imagine the coming year 5772, if each of us puts a biblical tithe, 10 percent of what we spent last year, or NIS 57.2 b. ($16.1 b.), toward improving the well-being of others. Now that truly would be a sweet and happy New Year, for givers and recipients alike.
The writer is senior research fellow, S. Neaman Institute, Technion.