The current war with Iran, which began last Saturday, has put many families under stress. The sirens, long stays in shelters, and nighttime awakenings disrupt daily routines and harm family dynamics.
The situation is even more complex in families where the parents are divorced, or when one of them is called up for reserve duty. Children sometimes lack the full support system that provides a sense of security, precisely at a time when they need it most.
Against this backdrop, it is advisable and even recommended to use this period to create a parental “ceasefire.” Even if the romantic relationship has ended, the parental partnership continues, and it now becomes the children’s protected space.
Showing Unity Even if Not Everything Is Resolved
During a crisis, children look for signs of stability. When they see both parents conveying a calm, unified message, their sense of security increases.
It is recommended to hold a joint video call with the child and the other parent, especially if one parent is not at home. The message should be clear and practical. The family unit exists for you even during hardship. This is a temporary period, and the situation will return to normal.
If one parent is in reserve duty, it is important to explain to the children that Mom or Dad went to protect all of us and will return soon. When a child understands that their parent is fulfilling an important role, they may feel pride instead of anxiety.
This Is Not the Time for Hostility
Even if the divorce was difficult and resentment still exists, the current period requires emotional maturity. This is not the time to show hostility or wage battles through the children.
In moments of stress, parents need to be an anchor. The message must be consistent. We are here for you. We are strong for you. Children should not be exposed to the fractures and anger that remain between the parents.
In adolescence, children may appear distant, absorbed in their phones or in their own world. Yet they also experience the storm, even if they do not express it in words.
It is important to maintain continuous contact through calls and messages, and to show affection and concern. Sometimes a quiet hug says more than a thousand words.
When the security situation is tense and children are supposed to move from one home to another, flexibility and patience are required. If the children express fear or resistance to the transition, it is necessary to explain the situation, listen, and consider giving them a choice when possible.
Sometimes a temporary compromise on a strict schedule can reduce anxiety and strengthen the sense of security.
When Everything Falls on One Parent
When one parent is in reserve duty, the parent who remains at home faces the children, anxiety, and daily chaos alone. Frustration toward the parent on duty may arise, but it is important to maintain clean language in front of the children.
There is no place for statements that portray the other parent as someone who left you alone or as a burden. Children are not part of the conflict and should not carry the adults’ emotional load.
Turning the Crisis into an Opportunity for Connection
Children did not choose the divorce. Now, more than ever, this is an opportunity to create shared experiences that strengthen their sense of belonging.
Open conversations, games, watching movies together, and sharing the experiences and photos with the parent in reserve duty can create a sense of wholeness even in a split reality.
The security crisis is not only an external threat, but also a test of parental partnership. When parents set aside their disagreements and act together for the children’s benefit, they become a true protected space for them.
Tips courtesy of Anat’s club, which provides guidance and support services to divorced parents with a 360° approach.