What is the definition of true love? Rabbi Twerski explains

Twerski explains that very often, when two people decide to wed they do so based on their mutual expectations from each other.

Robert Indiana's Love sculpture at the entrance of the Israel Museum (photo credit: TALMORYAIR/WIKIMEDIA COMMONS)
Robert Indiana's Love sculpture at the entrance of the Israel Museum
(photo credit: TALMORYAIR/WIKIMEDIA COMMONS)
For the late Rabbi Abraham Joshua Twerski, too many people mistake their own self pleasure, such as loving fish, and true love, which is focused on the other person. 
 
In a moving video tweeted by Bizmax CEO Yitzik Crombie, Twerski explains that very often, when two people decide to wed they do so based on their mutual expectations from each other. Meaning, both hope the other person will offer them stability, love, affection and so on. Just as a diner consumes a fish to satiate hunger.

The need is legitimate, but should it come at the expense of other beings? 
 
True love, Twerski argued, is focused on the well-being of the other. To those to whom we give, he claims, we also offer our love. It’s not the other way – that we love first, and give second. 
 
Crombie, who runs a Jerusalem-based innovation center for ultra-Orthodox (haredi) Jews, said that "I'm pretty sure you didn't hear about him until today [Monday]" the tweet reads. "Yet to me, he was an icon of a God-fearing haredi Jew who is great in both Torah learning and healing."
Twerski was a leading expert in helping those recovering from substance abuse.
 
Crombie added that Twerski requested no eulogies be read during his funeral service and that those who attend it will sing ‘Redeem your people,’ a Jewish song he himself composed the music to.