Through a mother's eyes: The wartime struggle of Israelis with special needs - comment

Normally, even taking the bus to the train station in Jerusalem makes him so happy. He nearly bursts with joy, chatting with everyone around him, asking how they are doing, telling them he is going to Haifa.

But this year, because his birthday fell during Operation Roaring Lion, it wouldn’t have been safe, and certainly no fun if we had to crouch down in our seats on the train while the booms of interceptions sounded overhead.

His week at home for Passover – which coincided with his birthday – was filled with alerts and actual missile attacks.

Danny’s first instinct is always to apologize, as if he has done something wrong to cause the alert, and then to ask to stay put and not go to the shelter. But in the end, he got through it all.

We are lucky, though, because our building has a bomb shelter, and so does the therapeutic village in central Israel where he lives during the week.

The dedicated staff members there and all those who work with people with special needs in Israel are truly the unsung heroes of this war.

The village staff worked overtime and put in extra shifts to make sure the residents are able to get to the shelter in the one minute they have to reach it as the real sirens sounds.

According to a 2024 study by the JDC (Myers JDC Brookdale/The Joint), 36% of the hundreds of thousands of Israelis with a disability lack access to a shelter.

Some of these people have physical limitations, such as being wheelchair-bound, and nearly all shelters are downstairs.

Others, such as those on the autism spectrum or those with intellectual disability or mental health issues, can walk to shelters but won’t enter unless someone helps them; and in far too many cases, there is no one to assist them.

It’s important to realize that in times of war and emergency, people with disabilities are one of the most vulnerable sectors of society, in need of intensive support and assistance.

And it has been a long, tough road. Bombings by Hamas, which started on October 7, 2023, were followed by missiles from Hezbollah in Lebanon and the Houthis in Yemen. Then came the missile attacks by Iran in April 2024 and October 2024, which reached every part of the country, and the 12-day war with Iran in June 2025.

I spoke to Clara Feldman, the chairwoman of SHEKEL – Inclusion for People with Disabilities, a leading Israeli nonprofit for the inclusion of people with disabilities in the general community, which provides housing, employment, and cultural and education programs for people with a wide range of disabilities, both physical and mental.

She said that SHEKEL had mobilized on two critical fronts to ensure both the physical safety and mental health of the adults and children they work with.

“On the day the war broke out, SHEKEL’s therapeutic centers immediately launched a nationwide emergency hotline,” she said. “This was crucial, as people with intellectual and developmental disabilities are exceptionally prone to trauma.”

SHEKEL’s centers offer state-of-the-art trauma therapy for people with disabilities, a highly specialized therapeutic field.

“For many, the trauma is expressed as debilitating anxiety or complete withdrawal, often leading to functional paralysis and even regression. This obviously impacts the entire family, who are often alarmed and feel helpless to assist their family member with disabilities. So our approach is holistic, creating a space that provides guidance and support for the family, as well as relevant disability teams.”

Since the beginning of the Iran war, hundreds of adults and children have received war-related trauma intervention through the hotline, she said, and in many cases therapists have traveled to high-risk areas to answer the immediate needs of war victims with disabilities.

In a recent incident, she said, several young residents with disabilities in central Israel were deeply shaken, having survived missile fire that totally demolished their apartment. Therapists from SHEKEL arrived on the scene and provided therapeutic support for the apartment residents.

But care in the immediate aftermath of an emergency is only the first layer of a long process of support and rehabilitation.

“Over the next two years, as post-trauma cases begin to increase, the demand for trauma therapy is expected to rise considerably,” Feldman said.

She added that when the Home Front Command ordered all vocational work programs and day centers to shut down for the first week of the war, those living in supervised apartments in the general community instantly required round-the-clock support in their homes. But once the day centers were permitted to reopen, ensuring that they were safe was a challenge.

In a farm-based outdoor day center in Rehovot for people on the autism spectrum who are low functioning, JNF-UK donated a spacious safe room last year, which allowed people to resume their daily routine.

“It came as an enormous relief, as routine is crucial for people on the autism spectrum, and often even slight changes in routine can cause severe distress and trauma,” Feldman said. “This is particularly true in an anxious wartime environment, the consequences of which we experienced immediately following October 7, when we were unable to reopen right away, due to lack of a safe room.”

The mother of a friend of Danny’s from high school, who had to stay home at the beginning of this war, spoke about her son’s difficulties. He lives in a group home in Jerusalem for people with autism. Many adults with special needs who no longer live with their families reside in group homes or other kinds of residences and travel via bus or van to occupational workshops and back every day.

“Whenever the transportation services are disrupted and the van can’t pick my son up, it’s so difficult for him. It was tough during the COVID lockdowns, and it’s been tough every time the vans stopped running, from October 7 up to this war. They’re just in their rooms all day, there’s barely enough staff for the basic day-to-day stuff, like meals, and there is no one to keep them busy during the day,” she said.

Not surprisingly, parents on group chats and social media have reported an increase in meltdowns and stress among their children with special needs.

One mother pleaded for a replacement for the noise-canceling headphones her adult son with autism broke when he was in crisis, saying that he needed them to block out the terrifying noises of the missile booms in the Gush Dan area, where they live.

Her son, who also has epilepsy (not an uncommon combination), has had more frequent seizures since Operation Roaring Lion began, she said.

Many people on the autism spectrum have issues with loud noises, and even the sound of the Home Front Command app scares Danny. But he and so many Israelis with special needs are coping as best they can, with the support of organizations such as SHEKEL.

We ended up celebrating his birthday at home with a few friends. When I dropped him off at his village at the end of the Passover holiday, he asked if the war was over.

“I think so,” I said.

“So, we’ll ride the Carmelit soon?”

“I hope so,” was all I could say.■