Puzzlement

Suddenly there is chaos and unknowing

By MICHAEL KAGAN
Freedom, Innocence521 (photo credit: Pepe Fainberg)
Freedom, Innocence521
(photo credit: Pepe Fainberg)
The other night, I saw a very fine production of “The King and I” produced by JEST and Israel Musicals in Jerusalem. [Disclosure: My daughter was one of the actors.] The role of the king was played by a real look-alike Yul Brynner. It was all very impressive and fun, and gave me lots of parental pride. And then the king sang “Puzzlement.” The smile disappeared from my face and was replaced by a quizzical look followed by enlightenment. Now I knew why I was there.
When I was a boy World was better spot.What was so was so,
What was not was not.Now I am a man; World have changed a lot.
Some things nearly so, Others nearly not.
At some point we have all asked the difficult questions, the questions that our parents or we, as parents, can’t answer; the questions that make us feel uncomfortable, inadequate; questions that transform parents from all-knowing, god-like beings to mere mortals. Questions like, why is there suffering in the world? What happens after we die? Where do we come from? As children, we live more in a world of cause and effect; as adults, we live more in a world of chaos.
So why was Moses, the greatest of all prophets the humblest of all men, condemned to die before entering the Promised Land? And for that matter Miriam and Aaron too? How could it be, when God sent deadly snakes to punish the people for complaining (yet again) about the quality of the food in the desert, whoever gazed up at a copper snake was miraculously healed? And above all, how is it that water mixed with the ashes of a red heifer is able to ritually purify someone who has become “contaminated” through contact with death. And, furthermore, the priest who does the sprinkling becomes impure. It is in reference to this paradoxical action of the red heifer that the rabbis attribute the verse of the wisest of all men, King Solomon, “I thought I could become wise, but it is beyond me. What existed is elusive and so very deep, who can find it?” (Ecclesiastes 7:23-24). And all this in one Torah portion – Chukat (Numbers 19:21).
Questions, questions, questions.
But in order to answer all these questions we need to ask two more.
Why is the prescription for reversing the ultimate level of spiritual impurity given at this time in the Torah narrative? Surely, something critical to the performance of all sacred ritual should have been relayed in the book of Leviticus. Its natural home would seemingly be among the myriad of laws concerning purity and impurity. Why not introduce there the ultimate cure for contact with the ultimate end? The second question is why this portion starts with the descriptor: “This is the chukat of the Torah”? In the JPS translation this is rendered as the “statute of the law.” So what’s a statute and why doesn’t it simply say, “This is the Torah of the Red Heifer”? It is normative for many sections to open or close with the summary phrase, “This is the Torah of…” Here it is different. A chok (statute) is usually understood as a law that is not understandable, has no clear rationale, is a puzzlement – the Red Heifer being the example par excellence.
And now the answers.
The desert experience that the Children of Israel endured for 40 years can be viewed like a half-way house between the prison of Egypt and the freedom of the Promised Land. In such a setting the ex-prisoners are fed (manna and water) and looked after as they slowly acclimatize to the reality of freedom, where freedom implies taking full responsibility. Like getting a job. Like failing. Like succeeding.
Or to bring it closer to home, the desert years can be compared to growing up in one’s parents home, being fed, being looked after, being parented by those who appear to be infallible. Until… until it is time to grow up and leave, to stand on one’s own two feet and take responsibility for one’s own life.
But there is a price to pay for freedom and that is the loss of innocence.
Out there we find suffering and death, unanswered questions, paradoxes. The world is not as simple as it seemed under the wings of our sheltering parents (God). Suddenly there is chaos and unknowing.
In these chapters it is time for the wandering ex-slaves to face the real world where good people suffer and bad people prosper, where people will say “no” to you just because, where very little makes much sense. This is the world we live in – the world of puzzlement.
There are times I almost think Nobody sure of what he absolutely know.
Everybody find confusion… Everyday I try to live another day… Everyday I do my best for one more day. 
Michael Kagan lives in Jerusalem. He is a serial entrepreneur and author of “The Holistic Haggadah” and “God’s Prayer”