The know-it-all narcissist
This person always gives his/her opinion, even when the listener does not ask for it, and believes that he/ she knows more than anyone else does on any given subject.Coping response: Do not take these people too seriously. It is important to keep in mind that they do not know as much as they believe they know, in spite of the fact that they try to give you the impression that they do. You can listen and then say politely, “I got to run.” If it is your boss or a professor and you really have no choice but to listen, do so, but remember, just play along but do not take this character seriously. The grandiose narcissistThis person flaunts his/her accomplishments and exaggerates their significance. People of this type may in fact achieve amazing things in their lives, but what drives them includes the powerful need for others to admire their achievements. Very often, they attract insecure types of individuals to be part of their fan club.
Coping response: Do not compete with these kinds of people, because they can be relentless in their need to display their superiority. If you work with or for someone like this, do not expect them to appreciate your accomplishments, unless they perceive them as their own. They rarely appreciate the accomplishments of others and will easily discard you. The seductive narcissistSeductive narcissists use the art of manipulation through flattery and admiration. They may shower you with compliments and try at all costs to make you feel good about yourself. However, this individual’s primary purpose is to get your admiration in return, and therefore his/ her admiration to you always comes with a price tag. It is a game to get you to admire back. Often this plays out in student-professor interactions or worker-supervisor relationships or in other social circles where the admirer is searching for admiration.Coping response: If you come across this type of behavior, remember that even though the admiration feels good, it may be nothing more than manipulation. The simple answer is to be humble. Do not take yourself so seriously. When someone has authority over others, seductive narcissism appears.
The bullying narcissistThis person builds him/herself up by humiliating other people. These individuals often rely on contempt to make others feel like failures, proving themselves a winner in the process. They will denigrate and mock you. Moreover, when they need something from you, they may become threatening. These people derive their narcissistic gratification by making you feel like a loser.Coping response: You need a strong ego and belief in yourself to deal with these individuals. Recognize them for what they are, manipulating bullies, and do not depend on them for acknowledgment in any role you perform.
The vindictive narcissistA vindictive narcissist will not tolerate a challenge to his/her superior status. These people will go out of their way to hurt you, your reputation, bad-mouth you, get you demoted, and you name it. They are indeed very angry people, and it does not take much to scratch the surface of this internal rage.Coping response: Distance yourself from this type of person, and if he/she tries to hurt your reputation in damaging ways, you may have to take this individual to court and sue him/her. It may require hiring a lawyer.
Remember, there is no avoiding being around narcissists. They are a part of the composite of people in our lives. However, knowing how to cope with these individuals helps to protect your emotional well-being and can save you a lot of aggravation.
The writer is a marital, child and adult cognitive-behavioral psychotherapist with offices in Jerusalem and Ra’anana. www.facebook.com/drmikegropper; drmikegropper@gmail.com